Bait and Tackle

It took a month, but I was finally able to catch up with Willow again. It was a lot of fun.

He doesn't seem to be much of texter, rarely replying. But when he does reply he seems to stick around for a half-decent conversation length. I will admit that I've taken to baiting him a bit, just seeing what it takes to initiate a response from him when he's being quiet. Wednesday's bait? 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting?'. That worked.

It ended up that he was going to be free for a few hours that evening so we arranged to meet up when he finished work. Since I knew we didn't have much time i decided not to mess around with movies etc, but to show him my toy collection. This was something he had expressed definite interest in right from the beginning. The topic came up when we were first talking online and again when we were in bed the first time.

When Willow arrived at my place I took him straight into my bedroom. Perched on the edge of the bed I pulled out my drawers off toys and began to tell him about them. Encouraging him to touch and feel them he was amazed at the size of them (I do tend to favour larger toys).

Eventually I ran out of things to say and I will admit I went a bit quiet. I knew due him being quite shy/nervous etc that I was going to have to start things off which isn't really in my nature. But I did it. I sat the toys on the floor, lent across the gap between us and I kissed him. I of course started grinning.

We played around for a bit, just kissing and touching before Willow started to have a more purposeful go at removing my breasts from my bra. Being the nice person I am, I helped him out and removed my top, his clothes and my jeans followed soon after.

I had asked him at one point if he enjoyed recieving oral. He said yes. I really enjoy doing this but had been way to nervous to when we first met. After fooling around naked for a bit, Willlow asked me what I wanted to do next. I knew what he was saying but I went all shy and replied with 'I'm not sure'.

We continued kissing for a little while longer before my hand went down to his cock. My mouth followed.

I will remind you all here, that this was only the second guys penis I have ever had in my mouth. I couldn't help but compare the two, they felt so different yet similar. The pre-cum of the two tasted different, though actual skin of the two tasted fairly similar and of course the size and shape varied between the two.  But what really bemused me was the different way the two cocks moved.

Mr Good-Company's penis at times seemed to do dances of it's own accord, moving and jerking around to it's own private tune. Willow's on the other hand, didn't do this. It instead moved in a much more subtle way inside my mouth. As I sucked on him, using my hand on the base and my mouth everywhere else I could feel him become thicker and harder. It was the strangest thing. I did actually notice this a little the first time we played, though since my hand is less sensitive then my mouth I was only able to feel it right before he came. I was never able to tell with Mr Good-Company, knowing only by the sounds he made and his hands on my head that he was close.

As I sucked Willow, myself laying on my side and him kneeling in front of me, he began to use a dildo in me. As I continued to feel him change inside my mouth he told me that I was going to make him cum. Stopping my oral affections I asked him if he wanted to try sex. He said yes.

I continued playing with him using my hands as I rolled the condom onto his cock. Kissing, we lay back down on the bed and Willow slid himself inside of me. I'm not being critical, but after a little while it became apparent that missionary just wasn't going to work for me, so I asked him if I could go on top. With myself on top things worked much better. He slid in easy and stayed in. I began to move and it began to feel really good. I really wanted to make Willow cum and it wasn't too long before he told me that was indeed going to happen.

After he came I stayed where I was just enjoying the feeling of having him inside of me. When I had my breath back I climbed of and lay down beside him. He asked again if he could use a dildo on me. Passing him my favourite purple dildo he slid it inside of me, my hand guiding him until the speed was just right. As he did this I began to play with myself, rubbing my clit as Willow slid the dildo in and out. Every so often he would suck my nipples in a very gentle manner, just the barest of touches. As I continued to rub myself I began to cum, gripping his shoulder hard as I did so.

It was a good one and apparently I couldn't stop grinning afterwards as Willow asked what I was smiling about it. I'm just a pretty smiley person though I think. As we dressed we talked about tattoos, myself still undecided on what I want and if I want any and Willow already having several. I like tattoos, especially when people actually have them represent something important. This is one reason I have none yet. I am yet to find something so important that I want it drawn on my body for life.

Saying goodbye to Willow that night I told him that I didn't want to have to wait a month to see him again and he agreed. I will admit that I haven't heard anything from his since that night, but I do have my reasons for suspecting I will see and hear from him again. I waited a month when others told me to give up, I have no doubt that I can wait again.

Wondering what Willow's response to 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting' was? I believe it was along the lines of 'Ha ha ha! No way is your hand going anywhere near my ass'. I must say I'm of a similar opinion.

Long Time No See

I am, without any doubt, frustrated. I was supposed to meet Willow for the second time the other night, two and half weeks after we'd first met. It didn't happen.

I was stood up. I never knew what time exactly he was supposed to arrive and neither did he as he had to play netball first. But at around 9pm I received a text saying he'd just arrived home. So I of course expected that he'd show up after however long it takes a guy to shower and eat. An hour later I'd heard nothing so I sent a text to which I received no reply. An hour after that I rang him and was cut off. Then I lost my temper.

I sent a text saying 'I have apparently been stood up and now you've hung up on me. Nice'. Then I finally received an explanation and several apologies. Apparently friends had been at home when he arrived, so he hadn't been able to come over as planned. As far as I'm concerned that's a reasonable excuse, what annoys me is the fact that he didn't think to tell me what was going on.

I have forgiven him (I think) for several reasons:

• He does still seem to be a genuinely nice guy.
• It was a reasonable excuse.
• I'm running out of guys online.
• I'm a nice person and he is rather attractive.
• He stayed in bed with me for ages after sex and I really want to do that again.

Now I admit that some of those probably aren't the best reasons for choosing to forgive someone but I tried my best. We're still trying to find a make-up date to replace Monday, but damn the guy has a hell of a lot of extra-curricular activities going on! If it's meant to be anything, be it friends with benefits or more then I guess it will happen. I'm a naturally impatient person of that I have no doubt, I'm just hoping that in this case waiting really pays off.

Houston, We have a Problem

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much as I used too. There is the obvious reason for this of course (lack of play partner) but there are also a few other thing going on in the background that you may or may not be aware of. Since some of you readers have been so lovely, I thought I'd fill you in.

I've been a mild dose of anti depressants for about 12 months now. These aren't for depression though, they are instead to help me deal with my anxiety. But things haven't been going so well lately. As you know I lost my job, my play partner, I gained a lot of weight and I also started a new job whose utter monotony (depending on the department I'm working in) really has me feeling down at times. This new job also makes me realise how much I miss my old job, but I think as I settle in it's starting to improve, I hope.

But back to these mild anti depressants. Today after a discussion with my Doctor, we decided to up the dose. We're really hoping that this will improve my mood in general but also my motivation in regards to food and exercise. In the last 12 months I have gained 20kgs. If I keep going the way I am I will be back at my heaviest (159kgs) within 6 months. I know that once I'm back there I'll just give up. I'm close to giving up now to be honest, hence the decision to up my medication.

Twelve months ago I ate relatively healthy, I went to the gym everyday without fail. I had no friends, but I was the happiest I had ever been. In contrast, today I have some wonderful friends, but I am utterly miserable and regaining my anti social ways. I dread the waking hours. I don't want to go to the gym, even with my friends. Once upon a time the trainers at the gym used to actually tell me to take a break.

I want to be like I was twelve months ago. I don't want to be sitting at home on the couch in tears, alone and stuffing my face with McDonalds and chocolate. I know I can change my behaviours. I have to. the alternative is to continue slowly killing myself.

Just Whinging

The title says it all really. The whinge topic of the day you ask? Boys. Seriously, what else was it going to be about.

It's been two and a half weeks now since I first met Willow in person.  Since then we have spoke on the phone once, organising meet up number two only for him to cancel. We have exchanged numerous texts, even naughty pics.

However, we're still trying to organise meet up number two. The issue? He's always busy (insert sad face). He told me he would probably be able to meet up today (Sunday) or this coming Wednesday. On Friday he said he didn't know what his plans were for the weekend but that he might be away. I had expected him to let me know on Saturday what was going to happen. Nothing.

I have sent texts, tried to call but I'm not receiving any response. I'm honestly not sure what to think. Needless to say I'm starting to become just a tad frustrated here. So far I like the guy but surely arranging a second date shouldn't be this hard!

That's all I have to say really. I'm frustrated and just as confused about him as I ever was. If he hadn't been such a nice guy when I met him in person I have no doubt that I would have figure 'screw him' by now. I consider myself to be a really decent person, if a little bit impatient when I want something. I have tried my best to wait for him, I am really trying to be patient. I may be just my thinking, but surely nearly three weeks of waiting for a second date would test even the most patient of people?