For fucks sake! Let me fill you in on a few of the finer details of the parting off me and Mr Good-Company. He ended it via Facebook chat and refused to answer the phone when I tried calling him. I still had a dvd of his and we agreed that I'd just put it in his mailbox. The end, but still be Facebook friends and such.
But that doesn't feel right. Too me, that isn't how you say goodbye to the person you had your first kiss with and lost your virginity too. Call me a soppy, sentimental fuck-wit if you like, but I feel the need for closure. I just want to say goodbye in person. But he won't let me.
In all seriousness I really would not be at all dramatic. I honestly feel no romantic link to Mr Good-Company at all now, there is just the important fact that he was the one I lost my virginity too. I only want to say goodbye properly.
I don't know if it is only because of my inexperience that I want this. I will never see him again once he moves away in a months time so I really don't know what he's worried about. Goodbyes are just something that's important too me. I've moved around a lot and farewelled a lot of people, often forever.As for those I haven't said goodbye too, I do regret it. I so far regret nothing about my friendship with Mr Good-Company, but I know I will always regret not being able to say goodbye.
*If anyone reading this happens to agree with me on this, I would love it if you could comment. Mr Good-Company does have access to this blog and I would love it if all you wonderful readers could back me up on what a dick he's being about this. Thanks in advance!
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Friday, 29 July 2011
Coffee and The Couch
I no longer require appointments with The Couch. A couple of days ago I had what was to be one of my last appointments with The Couch. Over my last several visits we have slowly been running out of things to talk about. I am happy with my life. The quirks that led me to first begin seeing the couch are now under control thanks to medication. Nothing more can really be done.
I have come to accept that the level of quirkiness/anxiety levels is at a very manageable level. Yes, I do sometimes lose it, but that's normal. Apparently my anxiety disorder isn't even defined as a disorder any more. The group of smarty pants people who decide such things apparently voted it out of 'crazy' and moved it down into just one 'one of those' personality quirks. It is no-longer considered something that can be 'fixed', but just a quirk that can be managed. I can deal with that.
On this same day I also had a coffee date. Several weeks earlier I has sent a guy (The Bartender) on a chat site a contact request and he had messaged me back asking for my number. Figuring 'what the hell' I gave it to him. Following several weeks of trying to arrange a day to meet (neither of us seemed to be in town at the same time) we finally settled on Tuesday the 26th at the same cafe where I had met Mr 1984.
I arrived first. Waiting outside I was very nervous, as I always am with meeting new people. The Bartender and I had never even chatted online or had any contact other than the texts arranging the date. I knew nothing. He knew nothing.
When he arrived we ordered coffee's and found a seat in one of the booths. I was amazed at how relaxed I was once I sat down. My self confidence has grown so much in the past year that it still manages to leave me absolutely amazed.
We drank out coffee's, The Bartender commenting on my shaking hands (a side effect of my anxiety medication) which I explained away as 'my thing' with a story about needing to have my all my speech cards during high school on a key ring, so that when I eventually dropped them due to my shaking hands at least they would be easy to put back in order.
The Bartender and I chatted for about an hour before he had to leave for work. He is 26 years old and doing a Bachelor (?) of Public Relations (?) at Uni whilst bartending. He moved down here from Melbourne to go to Uni.
I will mention a rather odd thing happened during our meeting. About halfway through, a fellow diner came and asked for The Bartenders autograph, which he gave. When the other diner had left, I said to The Bartender 'Well I think you're going to have to explain that one.' Apparently the bartender is something of a local boxer. Since I forgot to ask his last name however I couldn't do any googling and find out if there is some truth to this or not. Someone at work suggested that this was an attempt to impress me. I have to say, if that was the case, it didn't exactly work that way. It just made it another odd thing to happen at this particular Cafe. The last time I had met an internet random there the staff apparently took a photo of us. Perhaps the combination of Jess Carlson + Internet Random + This Cafe = Weirdness. Maybe I'm jinxed.
The Couch suggested that having the prospect of this coffee date is one of the reason that I had no trouble moving on from Mr Good-Company. I must admit that I was thinking this as well. I'm of the opinion that the meeting went well. At this stage I think I'll be seeing him again, though my hopes are certainly not as soaring as they were when I first met Mr Good-Company. I learn my lessons. I do however remain hopeful. The Bartender is away for the next week or so visiting his family in Melbourne. As too what happens when he returns, I shall just have to wait and see.
I have come to accept that the level of quirkiness/anxiety levels is at a very manageable level. Yes, I do sometimes lose it, but that's normal. Apparently my anxiety disorder isn't even defined as a disorder any more. The group of smarty pants people who decide such things apparently voted it out of 'crazy' and moved it down into just one 'one of those' personality quirks. It is no-longer considered something that can be 'fixed', but just a quirk that can be managed. I can deal with that.
On this same day I also had a coffee date. Several weeks earlier I has sent a guy (The Bartender) on a chat site a contact request and he had messaged me back asking for my number. Figuring 'what the hell' I gave it to him. Following several weeks of trying to arrange a day to meet (neither of us seemed to be in town at the same time) we finally settled on Tuesday the 26th at the same cafe where I had met Mr 1984.
I arrived first. Waiting outside I was very nervous, as I always am with meeting new people. The Bartender and I had never even chatted online or had any contact other than the texts arranging the date. I knew nothing. He knew nothing.
When he arrived we ordered coffee's and found a seat in one of the booths. I was amazed at how relaxed I was once I sat down. My self confidence has grown so much in the past year that it still manages to leave me absolutely amazed.
We drank out coffee's, The Bartender commenting on my shaking hands (a side effect of my anxiety medication) which I explained away as 'my thing' with a story about needing to have my all my speech cards during high school on a key ring, so that when I eventually dropped them due to my shaking hands at least they would be easy to put back in order.
The Bartender and I chatted for about an hour before he had to leave for work. He is 26 years old and doing a Bachelor (?) of Public Relations (?) at Uni whilst bartending. He moved down here from Melbourne to go to Uni.
I will mention a rather odd thing happened during our meeting. About halfway through, a fellow diner came and asked for The Bartenders autograph, which he gave. When the other diner had left, I said to The Bartender 'Well I think you're going to have to explain that one.' Apparently the bartender is something of a local boxer. Since I forgot to ask his last name however I couldn't do any googling and find out if there is some truth to this or not. Someone at work suggested that this was an attempt to impress me. I have to say, if that was the case, it didn't exactly work that way. It just made it another odd thing to happen at this particular Cafe. The last time I had met an internet random there the staff apparently took a photo of us. Perhaps the combination of Jess Carlson + Internet Random + This Cafe = Weirdness. Maybe I'm jinxed.
The Couch suggested that having the prospect of this coffee date is one of the reason that I had no trouble moving on from Mr Good-Company. I must admit that I was thinking this as well. I'm of the opinion that the meeting went well. At this stage I think I'll be seeing him again, though my hopes are certainly not as soaring as they were when I first met Mr Good-Company. I learn my lessons. I do however remain hopeful. The Bartender is away for the next week or so visiting his family in Melbourne. As too what happens when he returns, I shall just have to wait and see.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Dear Readers,
Mr Good-Company and I have parted ways. He has found someone he can be more than 'fun friends' with. Our end came a month earlier than I expected so I have no trouble admitting it was a bit of shock. However, underneath that shock I feel relief. It's over. I can stop stressing and I can stop being jealous. I intend to use all the self-confidence our arrangement gave me and figure out who I am now (so to speak).
I'll write more when I know exactly what it is that I'm feeling and thinking. I just thought that I'd let you all know what has happened.
In blogging and friendship, Jess.
I'll write more when I know exactly what it is that I'm feeling and thinking. I just thought that I'd let you all know what has happened.
In blogging and friendship, Jess.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
The Final Frontier
The world can end now. I'm not going to be a dying a virgin in any capacity. As I mentioned in my last post, Mr Good-Company and I were exploring the idea of trying anal. We were slowly working our way towards it through the use of toys and fingering, so I could become accustomed to the feel and try and avoid any eventual pain.
On Thursday night, just two weeks after I had lost my virginity, that final frontier was crossed. I was over at Mr Good-Company's place again, we went into his bedroom and began to play. Everything started of as per usual, removal of clothes, making out and a little bit of biting, before we re-arranged ourselves into the 69 position with him on top of me.
At some point while Mr Good-Company was licking and fingering me I realised that he was starting to work his hand inside of me, without lube. It wasn't hurting me at all, but he certainly wasn't having too much success either. He asked me if I'd brought the lube. Of course I had, along with most of my toy collection since I really had no idea what he was thinking of doing with me that night. I am a believer in always be prepared.
Mr Good-Company came back with the lube and several toys. He knelt between my legs, poured a liberal amount of lube onto me and also onto his hand. He started to slide his hand inside of me and I, as was my usual gig, grabbed hold of his wrist. His hand seemed to slide inside of me much easier than our previous attempts. It didn't even hurt at all until he had his entire hand inside of me. I felt him begin to move his hand in and out of me slightly until the pain finally reached a point where I just had to say 'Stop'.
He withdrew his hand and began to play with my clit, before slowly working his way down to my anus. Mr Good-Company rubbed his finger over it for a little while before moving it inside. At the same time he slid a dildo inside of my pussy. He played with me in this manner for a while before he asked me if I wanted to try something else, if I wanted to try him. I nodded.
Mr Good-Company moved himself close to me and tried to slide himself inside of me. It hurt and once again I was tensing up, forgetting to relax. Once I finally relaxed and Mr Good-Company was inside of me, he slowly started to move. My first reaction was to place my feet on his shoulders, almost pushing him away. His moving inside of me just felt so very strange. It wasn't painful, just extremely unsettling. For a moment I had the feeling I get when I see too much blood. The feeling of all the blood rushing out of my head and that I'm about to pass out. After a moment however, I was able to regain control of myself and Mr Good-Company once again started to move.
I believe I had to stop, or at least ask Mr Good-Company to slow down on several more occasions. He obliged and then when it was okay again he would once again start thrusting. Mr Good-Company started to rub my clit as he began to thrust faster. This felt quite good. I wasn't attaining any pleasure from the sex as such, but the clit rubbing was of course quite nice. By the time Mr Good-Company was close to coming, the 'unsettling' feeling had disappeared and I was able to focus a bit more on what was happening.
All in all, it wasn't as terrifying of an experience as I had expected. I think my fear would probably have come from my repulsion in regards to faeces and also the fact that when Mr Good-Company did put the vibrator in me that first time, it was quite painful. I was expecting to be in quite a lot of pain the next day, as I had been the day after the vibrator, but there was no pain at all. Even the fisting didn't have any after effects in regards to pain.
At this point in time I would have to say that I prefer fisting to anal sex. Fisting gives me that endorphin rush, while at this stage I don't really get anything at all from anal sex other than an unsettled feeling in my stomach. I assume it's entirely possible that this may change over time and I imagine that I will definitely try it again at some point, but for now I'm happy with vaginal sex and fisting. They're both just so much more pleasurable than anal.
On Thursday night, just two weeks after I had lost my virginity, that final frontier was crossed. I was over at Mr Good-Company's place again, we went into his bedroom and began to play. Everything started of as per usual, removal of clothes, making out and a little bit of biting, before we re-arranged ourselves into the 69 position with him on top of me.
At some point while Mr Good-Company was licking and fingering me I realised that he was starting to work his hand inside of me, without lube. It wasn't hurting me at all, but he certainly wasn't having too much success either. He asked me if I'd brought the lube. Of course I had, along with most of my toy collection since I really had no idea what he was thinking of doing with me that night. I am a believer in always be prepared.
Mr Good-Company came back with the lube and several toys. He knelt between my legs, poured a liberal amount of lube onto me and also onto his hand. He started to slide his hand inside of me and I, as was my usual gig, grabbed hold of his wrist. His hand seemed to slide inside of me much easier than our previous attempts. It didn't even hurt at all until he had his entire hand inside of me. I felt him begin to move his hand in and out of me slightly until the pain finally reached a point where I just had to say 'Stop'.
He withdrew his hand and began to play with my clit, before slowly working his way down to my anus. Mr Good-Company rubbed his finger over it for a little while before moving it inside. At the same time he slid a dildo inside of my pussy. He played with me in this manner for a while before he asked me if I wanted to try something else, if I wanted to try him. I nodded.
Mr Good-Company moved himself close to me and tried to slide himself inside of me. It hurt and once again I was tensing up, forgetting to relax. Once I finally relaxed and Mr Good-Company was inside of me, he slowly started to move. My first reaction was to place my feet on his shoulders, almost pushing him away. His moving inside of me just felt so very strange. It wasn't painful, just extremely unsettling. For a moment I had the feeling I get when I see too much blood. The feeling of all the blood rushing out of my head and that I'm about to pass out. After a moment however, I was able to regain control of myself and Mr Good-Company once again started to move.
I believe I had to stop, or at least ask Mr Good-Company to slow down on several more occasions. He obliged and then when it was okay again he would once again start thrusting. Mr Good-Company started to rub my clit as he began to thrust faster. This felt quite good. I wasn't attaining any pleasure from the sex as such, but the clit rubbing was of course quite nice. By the time Mr Good-Company was close to coming, the 'unsettling' feeling had disappeared and I was able to focus a bit more on what was happening.
All in all, it wasn't as terrifying of an experience as I had expected. I think my fear would probably have come from my repulsion in regards to faeces and also the fact that when Mr Good-Company did put the vibrator in me that first time, it was quite painful. I was expecting to be in quite a lot of pain the next day, as I had been the day after the vibrator, but there was no pain at all. Even the fisting didn't have any after effects in regards to pain.
At this point in time I would have to say that I prefer fisting to anal sex. Fisting gives me that endorphin rush, while at this stage I don't really get anything at all from anal sex other than an unsettled feeling in my stomach. I assume it's entirely possible that this may change over time and I imagine that I will definitely try it again at some point, but for now I'm happy with vaginal sex and fisting. They're both just so much more pleasurable than anal.
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
The Sphincters Riddle
As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, Mr Good-Company will soon be moving away. As such, there a couple of things I would like to try before he leaves. The list is as follows, in no particular order:
We've been exploring the idea of anal sex lately. For some odd reason this is more frightening to me than the idea of fisting was. I know this is a rather illogical fear. Anal sex is supposedly a fairly common activity, especially when compared to fisting. I suppose that my fear comes from the fact this area (the anus) is still, in my mind at least, a sort of taboo thing. Due to the fact that my mind considers it scary, I am considering this a challenge. I enjoy breaking through the barriers my mind sets me.
Ever since I lost my virginity I've been rather keen to christen my bed. There was just something so enjoyably naughty about having sex in my lovely single bed, amongst the sheets that I've had since around about the first time I actually learnt what sex was. Mr Good-Company strung me out via Facebook chat until he actually managed to have me begging for him to come over, which he finally did.
Our fun began in the entrance to my lounge room, with Mr Good-Company kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt before we moved to the bedroom. After taking my shirt off, pausing whilst I put my cat outside, Mr Good-Company and I began to make out on my bed, removing my pants and his.
Mr Good-Company laid me across his lap as he began to tease my clit, biting my neck and nipples at the same time. He kept on rubbing my clit and fingering me until I came. When I caught my breath again, he sat himself over my chest and placed his cock in my mouth. As he began to thrust in my mouth, he reached behind him, playing with my clit. From there he worked his way to my pussy and finally to my ass.
As soon as his fingers started to play with that area I began to feel my nerves kick in. He rubbed me for a while before he slowly inserted a finger. This didn't hurt, but still felt quite odd. At the same time as he was doing this I continued to suck him, reaching out with my tongue to lick his balls as I did so.
I eventually began to relax a bit more. At this point Mr Good-Company asked me where I kept my toys, 'In the bedside table.' I (perhaps naively) had no idea what he was thinking of doing. As he took a slim vibe out of the drawer, I told him that it had no batteries in it. He said that was okay and began to coat the vibe with quite a large amount of lube. It was then that my sensibilities kicked in and I realised just where that vibe was headed.
Mr Good-Company knelt at the edge of the bed and placed my legs over his shoulders. I felt the vibrator begin to push against me. It didn't feel like there was an entrance there at all. I couldn't feel the vibe going in, just something poking hard at my flesh. I can remember I kept crying out, the sharp bursts of pain making me gasp.
At the same time as he was working with the vibe, Mr Good-Company was giving me oral, which I assume was an effort to distract me. After a little while Mr Good-Company's head popped up from between my legs in a rather humorous manner and with a smile on his face. I cracked up laughing. 'That's a very evil grin on your face.' He told me that was because he did evil things. He told me that I needed to relax. It was then that I realised just how tensed up I was, that I was forgetting the one thing I had read many a time in regards to anal. The importance of being relaxed. I nodded, said 'I know' and tried my best to relax.
As Mr Good-Company resumed his tongue work, I relaxed my body. Almost immediately I felt the pain stop and the vibrator slide in. After continuing with the oral for a while longer Mr Good-Company pulled another vibe from the drawer and put it in my pussy. He proceeded to fuck me with it, kissing and biting me at the same time. I wasn't able to come from this as I was constantly afraid of the first vibe being 'sucked' into my anus.
When Mr Good-Company stood up to put a condom on I removed the vibe from my ass and he removed the one from my pussy. He swung me around on the bed so that I was lying lengthways (we had been lying across the bed until this point) and slid his cock inside of me. As he began to fuck me I felt the pleasure building inside of me. After a few moments Mr Good-Company placed my legs over my shoulders and began to fuck me harder. This really felt quite good and I began to come, a pillow slowly falling over my face.
I pushed the pillow on the floor and grinned up at Mr Good-Company. He coaxed my body into a kneeling position and began to fuck me from behind as I moaned into the mattress. Mr Good-Company moved faster and harder, holding onto my hips as he finally came. Both of us then collapsing onto the bed.
Within an hour of our fun ending my ass started to feel quite sore. I had been warned of this by a friend, but I was still rather surprised at just how painful it was. It is only now, just over 24 hours later that the pain is receding.
Despite the pain, as with fisting, it is definitely something I want to continue working towards. I feel this is something that I can do. Next time we try I am going to see if I'm able to take Mr Good-Company himself, instead of the vibe. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stand any movements, but I at least want to accustom myself to the feel of him inside of me.I want to find out if I'm able to find any sexual pleasure in anal sex, as well as to be able say 'I've tried it.'
Fully achieve being fistedAnal sex- Have sex at my favourite place
- Car sex
- Double penetration
- An excursion to the local sex shop
Christen my bed- Take some new photos
- Some light bondage
We've been exploring the idea of anal sex lately. For some odd reason this is more frightening to me than the idea of fisting was. I know this is a rather illogical fear. Anal sex is supposedly a fairly common activity, especially when compared to fisting. I suppose that my fear comes from the fact this area (the anus) is still, in my mind at least, a sort of taboo thing. Due to the fact that my mind considers it scary, I am considering this a challenge. I enjoy breaking through the barriers my mind sets me.
Ever since I lost my virginity I've been rather keen to christen my bed. There was just something so enjoyably naughty about having sex in my lovely single bed, amongst the sheets that I've had since around about the first time I actually learnt what sex was. Mr Good-Company strung me out via Facebook chat until he actually managed to have me begging for him to come over, which he finally did.
Our fun began in the entrance to my lounge room, with Mr Good-Company kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt before we moved to the bedroom. After taking my shirt off, pausing whilst I put my cat outside, Mr Good-Company and I began to make out on my bed, removing my pants and his.
Mr Good-Company laid me across his lap as he began to tease my clit, biting my neck and nipples at the same time. He kept on rubbing my clit and fingering me until I came. When I caught my breath again, he sat himself over my chest and placed his cock in my mouth. As he began to thrust in my mouth, he reached behind him, playing with my clit. From there he worked his way to my pussy and finally to my ass.
As soon as his fingers started to play with that area I began to feel my nerves kick in. He rubbed me for a while before he slowly inserted a finger. This didn't hurt, but still felt quite odd. At the same time as he was doing this I continued to suck him, reaching out with my tongue to lick his balls as I did so.
I eventually began to relax a bit more. At this point Mr Good-Company asked me where I kept my toys, 'In the bedside table.' I (perhaps naively) had no idea what he was thinking of doing. As he took a slim vibe out of the drawer, I told him that it had no batteries in it. He said that was okay and began to coat the vibe with quite a large amount of lube. It was then that my sensibilities kicked in and I realised just where that vibe was headed.
Mr Good-Company knelt at the edge of the bed and placed my legs over his shoulders. I felt the vibrator begin to push against me. It didn't feel like there was an entrance there at all. I couldn't feel the vibe going in, just something poking hard at my flesh. I can remember I kept crying out, the sharp bursts of pain making me gasp.
At the same time as he was working with the vibe, Mr Good-Company was giving me oral, which I assume was an effort to distract me. After a little while Mr Good-Company's head popped up from between my legs in a rather humorous manner and with a smile on his face. I cracked up laughing. 'That's a very evil grin on your face.' He told me that was because he did evil things. He told me that I needed to relax. It was then that I realised just how tensed up I was, that I was forgetting the one thing I had read many a time in regards to anal. The importance of being relaxed. I nodded, said 'I know' and tried my best to relax.
As Mr Good-Company resumed his tongue work, I relaxed my body. Almost immediately I felt the pain stop and the vibrator slide in. After continuing with the oral for a while longer Mr Good-Company pulled another vibe from the drawer and put it in my pussy. He proceeded to fuck me with it, kissing and biting me at the same time. I wasn't able to come from this as I was constantly afraid of the first vibe being 'sucked' into my anus.
When Mr Good-Company stood up to put a condom on I removed the vibe from my ass and he removed the one from my pussy. He swung me around on the bed so that I was lying lengthways (we had been lying across the bed until this point) and slid his cock inside of me. As he began to fuck me I felt the pleasure building inside of me. After a few moments Mr Good-Company placed my legs over my shoulders and began to fuck me harder. This really felt quite good and I began to come, a pillow slowly falling over my face.
I pushed the pillow on the floor and grinned up at Mr Good-Company. He coaxed my body into a kneeling position and began to fuck me from behind as I moaned into the mattress. Mr Good-Company moved faster and harder, holding onto my hips as he finally came. Both of us then collapsing onto the bed.
Within an hour of our fun ending my ass started to feel quite sore. I had been warned of this by a friend, but I was still rather surprised at just how painful it was. It is only now, just over 24 hours later that the pain is receding.
Despite the pain, as with fisting, it is definitely something I want to continue working towards. I feel this is something that I can do. Next time we try I am going to see if I'm able to take Mr Good-Company himself, instead of the vibe. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stand any movements, but I at least want to accustom myself to the feel of him inside of me.I want to find out if I'm able to find any sexual pleasure in anal sex, as well as to be able say 'I've tried it.'
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
I like sex. A lot.
I have wondered about sex for an extremely long time. I can remember my fascination probably began when I was about 13 years old. This was the year I first saw an episode of 'Erotic Tales', this was the year I developed my first crush and I believe it was also the year that I first started masturbating.
For some reason in my imaginings my first time always took place outside, it didn't. My imaginings also included a tall blonde guy, but he wasn't present anywhere during my first time. The lesson to be learned here is that life is always different to the fantasy. When I first signed up to that first chat site, I never expected to be having my first kiss a couple of days later, I never expected that the day after that kiss a guy would want to go down on me and I certainly never expected that six months later I would be having sex with that same guy.
After my I had my first time I was extremely keen to have another try. In my head that first time was a very surreal experience. I could hardly believe during the act that I was actually having sex. Someone was kissing me, someone was putting his penis inside me, someone was coming inside of me. I wanted to do it all again, and soon.
On Sunday night I had that opportunity. I found myself to be very nervous. By this time my shyness around Mr Good-Company had pretty much disappeared, but on this night I found those nerves returning. Before I left for his place I was all shakey, my anxiety returning. I assume my nerves were behaving like this because this time the sex would be intentional, not an accident. I was making a conscious decision to have sex with Mr Good-Company.
My nerves calmed down a little once I arrived at Mr Good-Company's home and we watched tv for a bit before we started fooling around on the couch. When we went into the bedroom Mr Good-Company removed his clothes and helped with the removal of my own.
I hadn't brought any toys with me this time, wanting to experience 'normal' sex. I had told Mr Good-Company that I was nervous, so perhaps it was just my imagination but he seemed to be kissing and biting me more gently than usual. It was quite nice.
We continued to fool around, Mr Good Company continuing to bite me, kiss me and finger me whilst I stroked his cock. He fingered me and gave me oral until I came and then I sucked him for a while before he stopped me and asked if I wanted to ride his cock. My answer was yes.
I had wanted to do this for a very long time. Every time I was straddling him, rubbing my clit against his cock, I had wanted to give in and fuck him. Now I could. Mr Good-Company put a condom on and lay down. I straddled him and slid his penis inside of me. I was having sex!
It was awesome fun. Mr Good-Company had his hands on my hips, helping with the required movements. I could feel his cock moving in and out of me. It felt warm, so much nicer and more enjoyable than any sex toy I've ever used. I felt as if I couldn't stop smiling. Both from how good it felt and from the sheer joy of the fact that I was actually having sex.
I have no idea how long I could have continued riding him, I didn't find out as Mr Good-Company suggested we try something different. I moved off him and he directed me onto my hands and knees and positioned himself behind me. He placed himself inside of me and proceeded to fuck me from behind. This felt different again and I found myself moaning into the sheets as he began to move faster and harder, eventually coming.
The next night I wasn't expecting anything, I hadn't had fun with Mr Good-Company two nights in a row since our first week of meeting. I was talking to Mr Good-Company online, it would have been very obvious that sex was on my mind, I just had so many questions, powered by the fact that I also quite horny. What are some fun things to try? Was I any fun to 'play' with? Would he have sex with me at my favourite place? What did he like about taking me from behind?
We were talking about possible thing's to try when this conversation occurred:
j-carlson says:
For some reason in my imaginings my first time always took place outside, it didn't. My imaginings also included a tall blonde guy, but he wasn't present anywhere during my first time. The lesson to be learned here is that life is always different to the fantasy. When I first signed up to that first chat site, I never expected to be having my first kiss a couple of days later, I never expected that the day after that kiss a guy would want to go down on me and I certainly never expected that six months later I would be having sex with that same guy.
After my I had my first time I was extremely keen to have another try. In my head that first time was a very surreal experience. I could hardly believe during the act that I was actually having sex. Someone was kissing me, someone was putting his penis inside me, someone was coming inside of me. I wanted to do it all again, and soon.
On Sunday night I had that opportunity. I found myself to be very nervous. By this time my shyness around Mr Good-Company had pretty much disappeared, but on this night I found those nerves returning. Before I left for his place I was all shakey, my anxiety returning. I assume my nerves were behaving like this because this time the sex would be intentional, not an accident. I was making a conscious decision to have sex with Mr Good-Company.
My nerves calmed down a little once I arrived at Mr Good-Company's home and we watched tv for a bit before we started fooling around on the couch. When we went into the bedroom Mr Good-Company removed his clothes and helped with the removal of my own.
I hadn't brought any toys with me this time, wanting to experience 'normal' sex. I had told Mr Good-Company that I was nervous, so perhaps it was just my imagination but he seemed to be kissing and biting me more gently than usual. It was quite nice.
We continued to fool around, Mr Good Company continuing to bite me, kiss me and finger me whilst I stroked his cock. He fingered me and gave me oral until I came and then I sucked him for a while before he stopped me and asked if I wanted to ride his cock. My answer was yes.
I had wanted to do this for a very long time. Every time I was straddling him, rubbing my clit against his cock, I had wanted to give in and fuck him. Now I could. Mr Good-Company put a condom on and lay down. I straddled him and slid his penis inside of me. I was having sex!
It was awesome fun. Mr Good-Company had his hands on my hips, helping with the required movements. I could feel his cock moving in and out of me. It felt warm, so much nicer and more enjoyable than any sex toy I've ever used. I felt as if I couldn't stop smiling. Both from how good it felt and from the sheer joy of the fact that I was actually having sex.
I have no idea how long I could have continued riding him, I didn't find out as Mr Good-Company suggested we try something different. I moved off him and he directed me onto my hands and knees and positioned himself behind me. He placed himself inside of me and proceeded to fuck me from behind. This felt different again and I found myself moaning into the sheets as he began to move faster and harder, eventually coming.
The next night I wasn't expecting anything, I hadn't had fun with Mr Good-Company two nights in a row since our first week of meeting. I was talking to Mr Good-Company online, it would have been very obvious that sex was on my mind, I just had so many questions, powered by the fact that I also quite horny. What are some fun things to try? Was I any fun to 'play' with? Would he have sex with me at my favourite place? What did he like about taking me from behind?
We were talking about possible thing's to try when this conversation occurred:
j-carlson says:
wat else?
(i may or may not be playing...)
goodcompany says:
haha
j-carlson says:
shhh! cmon, any other ideas lol
goodcompany says:
anal doggie while u use a vibe on your clit
j-carlson says:
hmmm, but i havnt mastered anal yet, apparently it's quite painful for a few days after the first go
goodcompany says:
if your here in 3 minutes ill try it on you lol
j-carlson says:
i culd be there in 5...
goodcompany says:
make it 4 and ill time you
if your late you have to go home lol
j-carlson says:
no way!
goodcompany says:
haha
up to you
j-carlson says:
lol dude if i get over there and u tell me to go i might be tempted to smack u
goodcompany says:
hahaha
j-carlson says:
see ya soon then i guess
goodcompany says:
cool
bring lube
j-carlson says:
start timing... (um are u seeing the captain jack/ianto reference i am)
goodcompany says:
no
j-carlson says:
stopwatch
goodcompany says:
ive only watched it once
hurry up
I went over to Mr Good-Company's place, I assume I arrived in under 4 minutes. When I arrived one of the first things I said to him was 'You're an ass', too which he replied 'You sounded horny'. Without the usual preliminaries of making out on the couch he began kissing me as we were standing there. We moved onto the bedroom and we both removed our clothes.
He started kissing me, tickling me (I am extremely ticklish) and giving me oral. After making me come this way, Mr Good-Company proceeded to tease the hell out of me. He asked me to tell him what I wanted, to which I had no idea. He told me that I couldn't have his cock until I told him what I wanted. He straddled my chest and began to fondle my breasts, rubbing his cock between them.
He continued to kiss and tease me, tickling my clit. I kept laughing, it was so much more fun and relaxed than the first or even the second time I'd had sex. Once again Mr Good-Company asked me what I wanted. I wanted everything. He said that he didn't think he could provide all of that in one night, too which I replied 'I'm not sure that even Superman could' and I started laughing again.
'I know how to make stop you laughing' was Mr Good-Company's reply to this, and he placed his cock in my mouth. I sucked him for a little while, before he sat up, still on top of my chest with his cock in reach of my mouth. As I licked the tip he began to finger me, slowly moving to my anus.
My nerves came back at this point. I wanted to try anal, but I was scared. At some point I stopped licking Mr Good-Company. As he fingered me he moved my mouth back to his cock. As my tongue touched him, a drop of fluid fell onto my lip and I licked it clean.
Mr Good-Company kissed me again and asked where I wanted his cock. Anal, though what he was doing with his finger wasn't hurting the idea of more than that was still scaring me a little bit. I replied 'my pussy'. After putting a condom on, Mr Good-Company positioned himself between my legs and slid himself inside of me. I gasped, the warmth of his cock still coming as a shock after the coldness of the toys I was used too.
Mr Good-Company began to move himself in and out of me, causing me to start moaning. After doing this for a while he lifted my legs up over his shoulders and continued to fuck me. This felt even better. It felt as if he were going in even deeper. He began to fuck me harder and harder. I started to feel myself coming, feeling Mr Good-Company sliding himself in and out of me. A few moments after I came, Mr Good-Company did.
I have now had sex a grand total of three times. There are two months until Mr Good-Company leaves and our fun comes to an end. The last six months have passed more quickly than I can believe. It has been by far the most eventful year I have ever had. I want to have as much sex as possible over the next two months, perhaps even sex at that favourite place of mine. Who knows when I'll next find someone I'm willing to sleep with after Mr Good-Company leaves, I want to make the most of the time that is left. More sex please.
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Whoops-a-daisy! The loss of my virginity.
I have been playing with myself for such a long time that can't remember precisely when my hymen was broken. I remember no pain and no blood, but despite all that, I now consider Thursday the 23 of June, 2011 as the day I lost my virginity.
I lost my virginity to Mr Good-Company of course. Those of you who have read this blog from its beginnings will know that this is something I never intended to happen, fearing that sex would only heighten the attachment I have for my friend. But in the typical, blundering style of Jess Carlson, I managed to have sex by accident.
I had again been doing some online shopping so I had gone over to Mr Good-Company's with a selection of toys. We began as usual, fooling around on the couch for a bit before heading to the bedroom. By the time I took my toys from my bag and made it to the bedroom, Mr Good-Company had already removed his clothes and was lying on the bed waiting for me. He very quickly helped me out of my clothes before starting once again to kiss me and rub my clit.
After making use of a little bit of lube, Mr Good-Company proceeded to fuck me with one of my new toys, a pink, glittery, vibrating dildo. Whilst he was doing this he began to bite me and I began to stroke his cock. We continued to do this, him biting me, kissing me and sucking on my clit, myself stroking him, until I eventually came.
After a little bit of rearranging, Mr Good-Company positioned himself on top of me and began to rub his cock over my clit, at the same time using his body to hold the dildo inside of me. At some point the dildo slipped out though due to the fact that our activities were having the desired effect without it, we continued rubbing against each other.
Then something 'slipped', I think it took both of us a few seconds to realise what had happened, but we both paused and Mr Good-Company said 'Wait a moment, am I inside you?' with which I replied 'I think so' and then proceeded to crack up laughing.
After 6 months of fooling around we were finally having sex. By accident. I figured that there wasn't really much point in not continuing since I was obviously no longer a virgin, so Mr Good-Company put a condom on and continued to fuck me.
After a few moments Mr Good-Company inserted a smaller vibe as well, which, needless to say, felt rather nice. It felt even nicer when I asked him to place it on my clit, at the same time as feeling the vibe I was also feeling Mr Good-Company inside of me. Though obviously it was a similar sensation as using one of my toys (without the vibrating obviously) it felt much nicer simply because of knowing that it was my friend inside me and not just some toy.
I didn't come my first time, but it was an enjoyable experience anyway. I being me, was of coursed eager for round two, but unfortunately Mr Good-Company due to having a job that involves more than blowing up balloons was way to tired. Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to the next time we meet up.
By the time I arrived back home that evening I think that some form of mental shock had set in. Having sex with Mr Good-Company was something I had never planned to do. I prefer to be in charge of all major decisions regarding my body but due to accidental 'slippage' the rather large choice of who I lost my virginity too had been taken from me.
Mr Good-Company assures me that it was indeed an accident and I have no reason to disbelieve him. If he ever intended to force or trick me into having sex with him he certainly had many opportunities before now. Apparently the first thought that went through his mind when he realised he was inside me was 'whoops'. I must admit my first thought wasn't even remotely similar, being more along the lines of 'well there's not much point in stopping now'.
About 24 hours later events really started to sink in though. I had accidentally lost my virginity and to add to the drama I had also found out that Mr Good-Company was moving away in two months. These two facts led to a fairly major 'have a sook' session. I even rang my mother, giving her a rough outline of what had happened over the last 6 months. Though rather disappointingly, instead of giving me the verbal hug that I was craving, she did tell me that to Mr Good-Company I was just another notch on his bedpost. Though to be fair, I think she did pretty well, especially considering the fact that she'd just found out her first born child was having sex with someone she'd met on the internet. She actually encouraged me to find a new friend, though hopefully my next 'friend' would return any feelings I had.
Now, roughly 48 hours after I lost my virginity, I am once again seeing it in a positive and sightly humorous way. I lost my virginity to a good friend, someone who I have obviously trusted for quite some time. It wasn't awkward or embarrassing, just a natural progression to what we were already doing. We weren't caught in the back-seat of a car and neither were we so un-prepared that we have to worry about STI's or unwanted pregnancy As I mentioned before, I now even find it quite funny. I managed to have sex entirely by accident, laughing as we both realised what was happening. Though not the 'ideal' way to lose my virginity, I am certainly more than happy to accept it the way it happened. At least in the future I'll actually know what I'm talking about when I tell my kids to 'be prepared'. To use the old cliche, it's always better to be safe than sorry.
I lost my virginity to Mr Good-Company of course. Those of you who have read this blog from its beginnings will know that this is something I never intended to happen, fearing that sex would only heighten the attachment I have for my friend. But in the typical, blundering style of Jess Carlson, I managed to have sex by accident.
I had again been doing some online shopping so I had gone over to Mr Good-Company's with a selection of toys. We began as usual, fooling around on the couch for a bit before heading to the bedroom. By the time I took my toys from my bag and made it to the bedroom, Mr Good-Company had already removed his clothes and was lying on the bed waiting for me. He very quickly helped me out of my clothes before starting once again to kiss me and rub my clit.
After making use of a little bit of lube, Mr Good-Company proceeded to fuck me with one of my new toys, a pink, glittery, vibrating dildo. Whilst he was doing this he began to bite me and I began to stroke his cock. We continued to do this, him biting me, kissing me and sucking on my clit, myself stroking him, until I eventually came.
After a little bit of rearranging, Mr Good-Company positioned himself on top of me and began to rub his cock over my clit, at the same time using his body to hold the dildo inside of me. At some point the dildo slipped out though due to the fact that our activities were having the desired effect without it, we continued rubbing against each other.
Then something 'slipped', I think it took both of us a few seconds to realise what had happened, but we both paused and Mr Good-Company said 'Wait a moment, am I inside you?' with which I replied 'I think so' and then proceeded to crack up laughing.
After 6 months of fooling around we were finally having sex. By accident. I figured that there wasn't really much point in not continuing since I was obviously no longer a virgin, so Mr Good-Company put a condom on and continued to fuck me.
After a few moments Mr Good-Company inserted a smaller vibe as well, which, needless to say, felt rather nice. It felt even nicer when I asked him to place it on my clit, at the same time as feeling the vibe I was also feeling Mr Good-Company inside of me. Though obviously it was a similar sensation as using one of my toys (without the vibrating obviously) it felt much nicer simply because of knowing that it was my friend inside me and not just some toy.
I didn't come my first time, but it was an enjoyable experience anyway. I being me, was of coursed eager for round two, but unfortunately Mr Good-Company due to having a job that involves more than blowing up balloons was way to tired. Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to the next time we meet up.
By the time I arrived back home that evening I think that some form of mental shock had set in. Having sex with Mr Good-Company was something I had never planned to do. I prefer to be in charge of all major decisions regarding my body but due to accidental 'slippage' the rather large choice of who I lost my virginity too had been taken from me.
Mr Good-Company assures me that it was indeed an accident and I have no reason to disbelieve him. If he ever intended to force or trick me into having sex with him he certainly had many opportunities before now. Apparently the first thought that went through his mind when he realised he was inside me was 'whoops'. I must admit my first thought wasn't even remotely similar, being more along the lines of 'well there's not much point in stopping now'.
About 24 hours later events really started to sink in though. I had accidentally lost my virginity and to add to the drama I had also found out that Mr Good-Company was moving away in two months. These two facts led to a fairly major 'have a sook' session. I even rang my mother, giving her a rough outline of what had happened over the last 6 months. Though rather disappointingly, instead of giving me the verbal hug that I was craving, she did tell me that to Mr Good-Company I was just another notch on his bedpost. Though to be fair, I think she did pretty well, especially considering the fact that she'd just found out her first born child was having sex with someone she'd met on the internet. She actually encouraged me to find a new friend, though hopefully my next 'friend' would return any feelings I had.
Now, roughly 48 hours after I lost my virginity, I am once again seeing it in a positive and sightly humorous way. I lost my virginity to a good friend, someone who I have obviously trusted for quite some time. It wasn't awkward or embarrassing, just a natural progression to what we were already doing. We weren't caught in the back-seat of a car and neither were we so un-prepared that we have to worry about STI's or unwanted pregnancy As I mentioned before, I now even find it quite funny. I managed to have sex entirely by accident, laughing as we both realised what was happening. Though not the 'ideal' way to lose my virginity, I am certainly more than happy to accept it the way it happened. At least in the future I'll actually know what I'm talking about when I tell my kids to 'be prepared'. To use the old cliche, it's always better to be safe than sorry.
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