There were Four in the Bed and the Little one said...

Well I finally have something entertaining to write about

Last Saturday (The 30th of June), despite feeling a little tired and over it My friend Princess and I left her partner and child at home and went to the gym. We quickly became bored and decided to abandon out fitness efforts and went for a drive around town instead.

As we drove past one of the local pubs/clubs Princess saw a poster advertising the appearance of Timomatic (participant in perhaps Australia's got Talent). Now apparently this guy is someone Princess was hanging out to see since he was in town to headline at the local childrens festival though she was unaware he would also be performing at Eden on this same night.

She quickly rang her partner, received the go ahead for a girls night and set about rounding up another friend to come with us. Princess and I split so as to dress up our respective persons. Meeting at her we headed to Sam's house. After pre-drinks there we scammed a lift into town with the drinking buddy of Sam's husband, convincing drinking buddy to come out with us as the taxi delivered us into town.

Arriving at Eden we were surprised we didn't need tickets. I had my first ever jager bomb, we all drank, danced and were squished in a crowd when Timomatic came on stage. After his performance we went back to drinks at the bar at which time Princess and Sam began their usual game of pulling poor random guys from the crown and convincing these guys to kiss me as it was apparently my birthday.

After a few failed attempts one guy gave me a quick peck on the lips. As he hung around Princess tried to convince me to go for it. Eventually I did. I think the guy was surprised. He actually said that he wasn't expecting me to kiss back like that. As I kissed him I heard the 'WHOO HOO's' of my friends. I know I thought about giving them the finger, I can't remember if I did or not though.

This guy, Craig and I soon parted and just stood there awkwardly trying to talk for a little while before we both wandered apart. But I kept watching him. I couldn't believe that I had just kissed a random guy like that. I must have been drunker then I realised.

As three in the morning rolled around (closing time) I visited the loo and my friends and I prepared to leave. As we headed to the door I saw Craig talking to another guy. Breaking away from my friends I went over and tapped him on the shoulder, asking 'Would you like to come home with me?'

After looking at me in a dazed manner for a few moments he answered with 'Sure'.

As we reached Princess standing at the door she asked me if I was sure, confirming that I was indeed 'sure', Craig an I headed of in the direction of my place. As we walked he warned me that he had an injury to his back and that he was on a lot of painkillers so he both may not be able to move around a lot and he may have some problems keeping things as hard as they needed to be. Neither thing was an issue with me. I like to be on top and in my drunken state I had no doubt that I would be able to make him hard.

When we finally reached my bedroom clothes were removed and we began to make out. Of course I was nervous. I hadn't had sex in nearly 6 months, I had a complete stranger in my room and I had to be at work in just 8 hours.

Craig soon began to finger me, rubbing my arse and asking if I was into that. I wasn't, but since it was obviously something he was into I was cool with letting him rub the entrance to aforementioned arse as he fingered me.

As I began to touch Craig he became the first guy to have me touch his cock whilst it was soft. That soon began to change as he continued to finger me, suck my nipples and then upon my request, bite them.

Commenting on how wet I was, Craig asked if I wanted his cock. I nodded and reached for the box of condoms in my bedside cabinet. Of course the damn box was empty! Even now I can't figure out where the things have gone. I only blew one up as a balloon...

Thankfully I am the the sort to be prepared and I pulled another (full) box out of my underwear drawer. As I began to roll the condom onto his cock, I began to encounter one of the problems Craig had warned me about. As I played with his cock, kissed him and rubbed his balls, Craig once again became hard and I began to ride him.

As I came, we both heard voices but as common sense says to, we just assumed it was my neighbours. As we switched positions for Craig to do me doggy style the voices, now accompanied by banging, became clearer.

'Jess!'

'JESS! Let us in!'

JESS! Helllllo?'

It was Princess and Sam. I thought they had gone home. I quickly put on a dressing gown and opened the door, planning on telling them to go away. I'm going to point out that as it was below 5 degrees Celsius so I couldn't leave them there. As I spoke to them it turned out my neighbours were being creepy (very drunk 50 year old guy and girl inviting them in). So I let the poor girls and went back to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

As Craig and I once again began to fool around we could hear the slight creaking sound that tends to signal someone is trying to discreetly listen at the door. Craig and I looked at each other, myself planning on ignoring it but he had other ideas. Jumping out of bed naked and with a pretty decent erection Craig quietly walked over to the door and flung it open.

Sam screamed as she both fell into the room and her hand grazed Craig's cock. I cracked up laughing. She cracked up laughing. Craig cracked up laughing. Poor Princess who was in the bathroom started yelling for us to tell her what was happening.

In the next few minutes Princess and Sam ended up sitting on the end of my bed huddled in a blanket whilst Craig and I sat in bed under the blankets.

As we sat there I couldn't help but rub Craig's dick. I stopped when Sam realised what I was doing and asked me to stop. After some of the benign, random conversation that only occurs between drunk people, Princess and Sam decided they wanted to see Craig's penis. He showed them.

Then things escalated. He started touching himself, continuously commenting how this fucked up scenario was really turning him on. The girls asked me to touch him. While at first I refused I somehow ended up doing exactly that ( I was very drunk). The girls wanted to film myself and Craig having sex. Thankfully they soon forgot this idea, just continuing to stare at his cock whilst questioning where he was from.

Craig was 24 years old and from a town several hours away. He travelled a lot for work and was currently staying in town with some friends or brother. These friends or brother were currently trying to ring him. As you would have to do, Princess and Sam answered the phone and began to moan in ecstasy.

After this Princess and Sam went to call a taxi, leaving me and Craig to it. Some how it ended up with him flashing them again (something of an exhibitionist I think). But when Craig came back to be he all of a sudden came down with quite the set of shivers. Excusing himself several minutes later to go to the bathroom. Deciding that part of the night was probably over I went to help Princess and Sam secure a taxi.

When Craig headed back to the bedroom I followed and he apologised for the fact that he was going to have to leave. He was feeling really sick and his friends were locked out of the hotel room because he had the key. I was actually fine with that. I'd rather have the poor guy leave then throw up. I gave him my number and he hugged me. We just stood like that for several minutes Craig commenting that he didn't want to leave as i was so nice and warm. It was actually really nice.

So that was the end of my first one night stand, the first time I had really enjoyed myself whist going out and the first time I ever had an audience in the bedroom. When I gave gave Craig my number I didn't expect to hear from him and I haven't. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Overall I'm feeling quite proud of myself. I asked a guy to come home with me. I weigh 140kgs and he said yes. Even taking into account 'beer goggles' I obviously can't look as bad as I think at times. Apparently we're going out again this weekend. For some reason I feel the need to prove that my one night stand wasn't a fluke. I wonder if I can pull this off twice?

V Day

No, not that V day, not the V day that involves hearts, flowers and a diaper clad baby shooting unsuspecting people with arrows. This V Day. This is my V Day. On this day 12 months ago I lost my virginity.

On the 23rd of June 12 months ago I headed over to Mr Good-Company's with a couple of toys and some lube only to end up having sex. Sure, as you will know sex wasn't supposed to happen. But I don't regret it. It was with someone I liked, trusted and to this day am still friends with. As such I choose to celebrate this day.

Ideally I would love to celebrate by having sex. Unfortunately, due to lack of male friend, I have had to do with a mastabatory session instead. I treated myself to chips with my dinner at a local cafe where they have the most extensive range of burgers (the Swiss chicken burger is my favourite). The friend I was dinning with didn't know I was celebrating but I assure you I was.

I'm now sitting at home with some butterscotch schnapps, having a few drinks and just remembering the good times. I let Mr Good-Company know what today is. I haven't heard anything back but that's okay. Today is my day, not his and as such I plan to keep celebrating this day for it's remaining two hours. 


Happy V Day everyone!

Note: A 'birthday' cake is on the way but due to the sex shop being closed when it was supposed to be open, I was unable to source the penis candles I was after. Wait for it though! That cake is coming!

A Little Cloud of Bleak

I warn you from the start, there isn't going to be anything at all entertaining in this post.

These last few months have seen so much going on and I'm afraid that very little of it has been worth celebrating. Things didn't work out with Willow though I'll admit I didn't really expect them too. I then met a really nice guy who actually went out of his way to spring a surprise visit on me, catching me in my pyjama's at 6pm. Despite what I thought was a promising start to things that didn't go as hoped either. Now after three weeks of online chats with him and his repeated promises of friendship and to come visit me I will have to say I've even given up all hope of either of those things ever really happening. I have finally exhausted the local online dating pool and am really not sure what to do next or how to do it.

I've also been having a lot of problems with work. As I've mentioned I am one of many drones who work for a large chain of retail stores. Well about a month ago now I received a phone call (on the store number). It turned out to be from the local library and they were offering me a job. I accepted and subsequently angered my boss at the store. She doesn't want to share me as it means I am now unable to cover many of the random shifts that pop up due to people calling in sick and going on holidays. I can see why she's angry, but when she's not giving me enough hours to survive on without having to ask my parents for money, what else am I supposed to do but take a second job?

I am also still fighting that battle with weight and depression I believe I mentioned at some stage. I'm afraid I'm having no luck with either. At least once a day I find myself coming out of the McDonalds drive thru with a passenger seat laden with food that will not help either my waistline or state of mind. Since my depressive state seems to be closely linked with my weight and my work life it's pretty safe to say that the way things have been going lately haven't really provided any chance for an improvement of mood.

Now to the brighter side of this little update. There is of course the library job which I am thrilled about. What makes it even more of a high point is that I didn't even apply for the position or know of it's existence. The library staff knew me and offered me a job in good faith. I am pleased that I can at least present myself as a capable person even when things are falling around my ears. This job means I have finally been able to buy the new washing machine I have needed for nearly five years. No longer does doing washing mean I risk having my clothes torn to threads.

Unrelated to my new job and improvement of finances is some news that makes me both jealous and thrilled in turn. One of my best friends has just announced she's pregnant! The little munchkin isn't due until the sixth of January so she is is telling people early but I couldn't resist starting a baby quilt for her. Though I will admit I had some trouble finding a suitable, gender neutral appliqué pattern.

I'll try to fill in a few more blanks soon enough but as things are at the moment I just haven't felt like writing. To be honest, there have been too many times of late when I have just felt like curling up in a little ball and crying myself into oblivion. I'm trying to keep smiling to keep smiling though all this.In the end it's the only thing I can do even if my smile doesn't actually match my feelings. At least with a smile I'm the only one who really knows how bad things are.

Bait and Tackle

It took a month, but I was finally able to catch up with Willow again. It was a lot of fun.

He doesn't seem to be much of texter, rarely replying. But when he does reply he seems to stick around for a half-decent conversation length. I will admit that I've taken to baiting him a bit, just seeing what it takes to initiate a response from him when he's being quiet. Wednesday's bait? 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting?'. That worked.

It ended up that he was going to be free for a few hours that evening so we arranged to meet up when he finished work. Since I knew we didn't have much time i decided not to mess around with movies etc, but to show him my toy collection. This was something he had expressed definite interest in right from the beginning. The topic came up when we were first talking online and again when we were in bed the first time.

When Willow arrived at my place I took him straight into my bedroom. Perched on the edge of the bed I pulled out my drawers off toys and began to tell him about them. Encouraging him to touch and feel them he was amazed at the size of them (I do tend to favour larger toys).

Eventually I ran out of things to say and I will admit I went a bit quiet. I knew due him being quite shy/nervous etc that I was going to have to start things off which isn't really in my nature. But I did it. I sat the toys on the floor, lent across the gap between us and I kissed him. I of course started grinning.

We played around for a bit, just kissing and touching before Willow started to have a more purposeful go at removing my breasts from my bra. Being the nice person I am, I helped him out and removed my top, his clothes and my jeans followed soon after.

I had asked him at one point if he enjoyed recieving oral. He said yes. I really enjoy doing this but had been way to nervous to when we first met. After fooling around naked for a bit, Willlow asked me what I wanted to do next. I knew what he was saying but I went all shy and replied with 'I'm not sure'.

We continued kissing for a little while longer before my hand went down to his cock. My mouth followed.

I will remind you all here, that this was only the second guys penis I have ever had in my mouth. I couldn't help but compare the two, they felt so different yet similar. The pre-cum of the two tasted different, though actual skin of the two tasted fairly similar and of course the size and shape varied between the two.  But what really bemused me was the different way the two cocks moved.

Mr Good-Company's penis at times seemed to do dances of it's own accord, moving and jerking around to it's own private tune. Willow's on the other hand, didn't do this. It instead moved in a much more subtle way inside my mouth. As I sucked on him, using my hand on the base and my mouth everywhere else I could feel him become thicker and harder. It was the strangest thing. I did actually notice this a little the first time we played, though since my hand is less sensitive then my mouth I was only able to feel it right before he came. I was never able to tell with Mr Good-Company, knowing only by the sounds he made and his hands on my head that he was close.

As I sucked Willow, myself laying on my side and him kneeling in front of me, he began to use a dildo in me. As I continued to feel him change inside my mouth he told me that I was going to make him cum. Stopping my oral affections I asked him if he wanted to try sex. He said yes.

I continued playing with him using my hands as I rolled the condom onto his cock. Kissing, we lay back down on the bed and Willow slid himself inside of me. I'm not being critical, but after a little while it became apparent that missionary just wasn't going to work for me, so I asked him if I could go on top. With myself on top things worked much better. He slid in easy and stayed in. I began to move and it began to feel really good. I really wanted to make Willow cum and it wasn't too long before he told me that was indeed going to happen.

After he came I stayed where I was just enjoying the feeling of having him inside of me. When I had my breath back I climbed of and lay down beside him. He asked again if he could use a dildo on me. Passing him my favourite purple dildo he slid it inside of me, my hand guiding him until the speed was just right. As he did this I began to play with myself, rubbing my clit as Willow slid the dildo in and out. Every so often he would suck my nipples in a very gentle manner, just the barest of touches. As I continued to rub myself I began to cum, gripping his shoulder hard as I did so.

It was a good one and apparently I couldn't stop grinning afterwards as Willow asked what I was smiling about it. I'm just a pretty smiley person though I think. As we dressed we talked about tattoos, myself still undecided on what I want and if I want any and Willow already having several. I like tattoos, especially when people actually have them represent something important. This is one reason I have none yet. I am yet to find something so important that I want it drawn on my body for life.

Saying goodbye to Willow that night I told him that I didn't want to have to wait a month to see him again and he agreed. I will admit that I haven't heard anything from his since that night, but I do have my reasons for suspecting I will see and hear from him again. I waited a month when others told me to give up, I have no doubt that I can wait again.

Wondering what Willow's response to 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting' was? I believe it was along the lines of 'Ha ha ha! No way is your hand going anywhere near my ass'. I must say I'm of a similar opinion.

Long Time No See

I am, without any doubt, frustrated. I was supposed to meet Willow for the second time the other night, two and half weeks after we'd first met. It didn't happen.

I was stood up. I never knew what time exactly he was supposed to arrive and neither did he as he had to play netball first. But at around 9pm I received a text saying he'd just arrived home. So I of course expected that he'd show up after however long it takes a guy to shower and eat. An hour later I'd heard nothing so I sent a text to which I received no reply. An hour after that I rang him and was cut off. Then I lost my temper.

I sent a text saying 'I have apparently been stood up and now you've hung up on me. Nice'. Then I finally received an explanation and several apologies. Apparently friends had been at home when he arrived, so he hadn't been able to come over as planned. As far as I'm concerned that's a reasonable excuse, what annoys me is the fact that he didn't think to tell me what was going on.

I have forgiven him (I think) for several reasons:

• He does still seem to be a genuinely nice guy.
• It was a reasonable excuse.
• I'm running out of guys online.
• I'm a nice person and he is rather attractive.
• He stayed in bed with me for ages after sex and I really want to do that again.

Now I admit that some of those probably aren't the best reasons for choosing to forgive someone but I tried my best. We're still trying to find a make-up date to replace Monday, but damn the guy has a hell of a lot of extra-curricular activities going on! If it's meant to be anything, be it friends with benefits or more then I guess it will happen. I'm a naturally impatient person of that I have no doubt, I'm just hoping that in this case waiting really pays off.

Houston, We have a Problem

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much as I used too. There is the obvious reason for this of course (lack of play partner) but there are also a few other thing going on in the background that you may or may not be aware of. Since some of you readers have been so lovely, I thought I'd fill you in.

I've been a mild dose of anti depressants for about 12 months now. These aren't for depression though, they are instead to help me deal with my anxiety. But things haven't been going so well lately. As you know I lost my job, my play partner, I gained a lot of weight and I also started a new job whose utter monotony (depending on the department I'm working in) really has me feeling down at times. This new job also makes me realise how much I miss my old job, but I think as I settle in it's starting to improve, I hope.

But back to these mild anti depressants. Today after a discussion with my Doctor, we decided to up the dose. We're really hoping that this will improve my mood in general but also my motivation in regards to food and exercise. In the last 12 months I have gained 20kgs. If I keep going the way I am I will be back at my heaviest (159kgs) within 6 months. I know that once I'm back there I'll just give up. I'm close to giving up now to be honest, hence the decision to up my medication.

Twelve months ago I ate relatively healthy, I went to the gym everyday without fail. I had no friends, but I was the happiest I had ever been. In contrast, today I have some wonderful friends, but I am utterly miserable and regaining my anti social ways. I dread the waking hours. I don't want to go to the gym, even with my friends. Once upon a time the trainers at the gym used to actually tell me to take a break.

I want to be like I was twelve months ago. I don't want to be sitting at home on the couch in tears, alone and stuffing my face with McDonalds and chocolate. I know I can change my behaviours. I have to. the alternative is to continue slowly killing myself.

Just Whinging

The title says it all really. The whinge topic of the day you ask? Boys. Seriously, what else was it going to be about.

It's been two and a half weeks now since I first met Willow in person.  Since then we have spoke on the phone once, organising meet up number two only for him to cancel. We have exchanged numerous texts, even naughty pics.

However, we're still trying to organise meet up number two. The issue? He's always busy (insert sad face). He told me he would probably be able to meet up today (Sunday) or this coming Wednesday. On Friday he said he didn't know what his plans were for the weekend but that he might be away. I had expected him to let me know on Saturday what was going to happen. Nothing.

I have sent texts, tried to call but I'm not receiving any response. I'm honestly not sure what to think. Needless to say I'm starting to become just a tad frustrated here. So far I like the guy but surely arranging a second date shouldn't be this hard!

That's all I have to say really. I'm frustrated and just as confused about him as I ever was. If he hadn't been such a nice guy when I met him in person I have no doubt that I would have figure 'screw him' by now. I consider myself to be a really decent person, if a little bit impatient when I want something. I have tried my best to wait for him, I am really trying to be patient. I may be just my thinking, but surely nearly three weeks of waiting for a second date would test even the most patient of people?