Wednesday, 21 March 2012

The Fifth

Approximately a week ago now, I had a date. Willow was to be the fifth person I had met from the online dating site I seem to live on. As far as this date was concerned, I was to be the veteran with myself being the first person Willow had met from online. I was nervous as all freaking hell.

Willow and I had only had a couple of online chats before I managed to coerce a date from him. He seemed both genuinely shy and a bit inexperienced with dating (not that I can talk). Our date was to be watching DVD's at my place. Nice and simple.

He was quite worried that he would do something wrong on this date, which I assured him was quite impossible. As far as I'm concerned first dates are supposed to be  filled with awkward moments and periods of silence as neither participant quite knows the other person well enough to prevent this. As such, anything 'wrong' is really quite normal.

On the day of the date Willow and I kept in contact, both of us nervous and wondering what the hell would happen later. At approximately 8pm (on time) Willow arrived at my place and we settled down on the couch to watch 'Horrible Bosses'.

Throughout the movie both of us (I assume) was very aware of the other. We talked a bit and Willow cautiously began to hold my hand, eventually putting his are behind my shoulders. Several times he asked me if I was nervous. I didn't feel nervous but he said I was shaking quite a lot.This would have been from a combination of anxiety medication and nerves. Due to the medication I don't really notice I'm nervous, but my regular shakes do increase.

There were several times during the movie when I thought Willow might kiss me, but he didn't. When the movie finished I put on another DVD, the second 'Johnny English' movie. We didn't see the end or even the middle of it.

We were sitting a bit closer on my horrible couch by then and he once again asked if I was nervous and he made that little move that made him seem like he was going to kiss me. This time I made sure he did. After that, I couldn't stop grinning.

It was so nice to be kissing again, I love the kind of physical contact that only comes from a sexy guy. After making out on the couch for a bit we ended up in my bedroom. It was awkward, enjoyable and so much fun all at once.

I'm not going to lie, we did have a bit of a problem when it came to the condom, but there are many ways around that type of thing. Once again, I couldn't stop grinning. It was quite a shame when he had to leave.

However, by the end of the next day and right up until now, I had stopped grinning. he wasn't replying to my text messages. He had said he didn't do hook ups and he had also said that he wanted to see me again, so why the silence? I tried calling him a couple of times but he didn't answer, responding with texts saying he was busy right at that moment. He hasn't deleted my contact from the dating site, he just wasn't talking any more.

Overall, Willow is/was a very sweet guy. No one has ever been that sweet and gentle to me. I really enjoyed it and it made me feel kind of special. I do want to see him again, I'd like to know him better. But even if things don't work out in the way of a relationship I'd be more then happy to have him as a fuck buddy.

So to end this post (which I know a certain people have been waiting for), I'm going to say that I had a great time as I have with nearly all the dates I've been on. Though unfortunately as with nearly all the dates I've been on I've been left feeling rejected and to add something new, I've been left feeling confused. So the question remains, does Willow want to see me again?

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