Saturday, 22 October 2011

5 Out of 40

I am currently on day 5 of my 40 day self-celibacy challenge. Whilst it certainly hasn't been as difficult as I expected, it certainly hasn't been easy either.

I posted a question on a forum asking if any other women there had done what I am doing, and what advice they could give me. I received an equal amount of positive and negative feedback. Many people seemed to think that after 5 weeks of no play, I would lose my sex drive altogether, others saying the complete opposite.

Surprisingly, I was offered some helpful advice as well. It was suggested that a way to keep my interest alive would be to play, but to deny myself orgasm. Apparently this can make that eventual orgasm especially intense. Now I have been playing a bit but so far I haven't let myself come anywhere near the point of orgasm. I'm just not sure I trust myself. But at the same time I think that it is very unlikely that I could possibly lose interest in sex in just 5 weeks.

My mind still wanders a lot. Sex is something that is often on my mind and this whole self-celibacy thing doesn't appear to have changed that. I'll be on my way to work or the shops and I'll find that something just pops into my head...

'I can feel his weight on top of me. His arms grasping mine has he pins me down. He kisses my hard, gently biting my lip as he pulls his face away. I can feel him adjust himself, aligning his hips with mine. He presses his cock against my pussy, just teasing me. He knows how much I want to be filled. Suddenly I am.

He begins to thrust hard inside of me making me moan. I raise my legs, wrapping them around his back, feeling him go deeper and deeper inside of me. I start to cry out as he thrust faster, feeling my orgasm building...'

See, I told you my mind wanders. But I do enjoy the torture that is my imagination. I enjoy being turned on but knowing I can do nothing about it. That's a surprising discovery for me. I particularly enjoy thinking about just what Mr Good-Company is going to do with me when this is all over. Will he tease the hell out of me? Or quickly put me out of my misery? I'm not sure which I would enjoy more, but by that stage I think I would enjoy absolutely anything (don't quote me on that). Only 35 days left to go...

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Losing my Nut

I have a habit, when taken by an interesting idea, of diving straight into the deep end. I don't necessarily mean to, it's just what seems to come naturally to me. I go the whole hog, determined to do it properly. As my personal trainer once told me, I am a sucker for going the hard yards.

I can see you wondering what exactly it is that I've committed myself to this time. I won't draw it out, it's going to be a long drawn out process as it is. I have committed myself to roughly 5 entire weeks of self-celibacy.

Now just wait for that to sink in... Okay, you can stop laughing at me now, I'm well aware that I AM GOING TO DIE!

The idea came about from an online chat a friend and I were having. We were talking about a wireless and remote controlled vibrator I own and the fact that I cannot orgasm from it. My friend came up with the idea that perhaps I had become desensitised to vibrations over time, needing more and more power behind them to receive the desired result. This actually made a lot of sense so I decided that I would abstain from using vibrators for a while.

As we continued to talk about this the idea began to grow... If I could become overly accustomed to vibrators, then I am also overly accustomed to larger toys, the smaller ones not really doing it for me any more. So it was decided that I would abstain from them also.

Seriously! Stop laughing at me!

I of course, decided to take things one step further and abstain from all self-pleasure all together. I'd had a very good masturbatory session an hour or so before the conversation with my friend had taken place, so I had no doubts that I would be able to complete the challenge. In fact, I was actually very excited about it!

I went to bed last night and despite missing my evening play session I fell straight asleep. Then I woke in a bit of a daze at about 5am and it hit me. I WAS GOING TO DIE!

I will admit I panicked a bit then. Seriously considering having a play right then and putting the whole thing down as a massive failure, not even managing to last 24 hours. But in my sleepy little daze I thought about it some more. I wanted to do this. No one was holding me to it, it was something I was doing for me. I decided to provide myself with a limit of two clitoral based orgasms throughout that 5 week period, a sort of  'get out of jail free card'. I also decided that if I did fail in this endeavour, then it would still be okay. I still would have achieved something.

So that is what I am going to do. I certainly see some tough times ahead that's for sure, close to the end of it I'll probably find myself humping the furniture. One of the hardest things I believe will be sleeping, I actually sleep with one hand down my pants! Talk about temptation!

I decided that my challenge will end on the day I attend Sexpo, so Mr Good-Company will have to take care of the results of my abstinence, whatever they may be.

You can start laughing again now. I'm done.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

My Little Box of Wonders

Well hello all. I have recently found myself observing with some curiosity, the growth of my small toy collection. I have sixteen toys so far. An assortment of vibrators and dildos.

The original Purple Friend and Purple Friend the Second.
I have my definite favourites of course. My Purple Friend being my ultimate favourite, my first toy and the one I turn to most often, My Purple Friend is the only toy of mine that has a permanent name all it's own. I mainly use this particular toy in the shower,making good use of the suction cup at the base and taking it for a bit of a ride. 

My original Purple Friend, after about 6 months of fairly rough and regular use, is now beginning to deteriorate. The suction cup beginning to split from the main part of the dildo and the 'ball' section is starting to separate from the shaft. As such, I ordered myself a new Purple Friend. Sure I could have been a bit more adventurous and gone for a different size or colour, but what I have now works so well I just bought another of the same. Though, comparing the two, you can definitely tell the current from the new!

My first rabbit style vibe, a very enjoyable bullet
and a wireless, remote controlled vibe.
I also found myself pondering my toys of the vibrating variety. The majority of my toys are vibes. As some of you well know, I only bought my first vibrator this year. It was very simple, just a small vibrating rod really. It didn't last long unfortunately but I did buy a replacement exactly the same as the first

Now whilst on the subject of vibrators, my purchases from the Flaunt It party finally arrived. I arrived home from work one evening to find a parcel on my doorstep. I eagerly opened it, expecting it to be the corset I had ordered many several weeks ago. When I opened the plastic packaging and saw the black tissue paper however, I immediately knew it wasn't my corset, but something a lot more exciting! I quickly tore open the tissue paper dug some batteries out of various tv remotes and cameras, and prepared myself to take my new toys for a test drive

Mr Happy
After I had tried out my toys, some more pleasurable than others, I gave them a pretty good examination. All seem to be of fairly good quality, but I knew that when I bought them. The surprise cam when I was having a closer look at the head/shaft of the rabbit vibe. It was smiling at me!

I must admit I quite like this feature. It seems to give the vibe just a little personal quirk. Sure there are probably millions of this same vibe with this same little grin, but I like the fact that he seem to be so happy and pleased with the job he's doing. Perhaps this will be the next toy of mine to gain its own name?

This is turning into quite a picture based blog post, so before I sign off, I'm going to put up one last photo, showing how far I have come regarding my choice in vibrators. I must admit that for some reason it makes me feel quite pleased with myself.

The little pink one is the second reincarnation of my first, short lived vibrator. It was cheap (under $15) and shodderly made, but it still felt wonderful. The rabbit by comparison, I paid $99 for (only to later find it at my usual online store for $70). But I believe paying that extra thirty dollars was well worth it for an evening spent in the company of friends, having a good laughs and a few drinks. 

I have my eye on a few other toys at the moment, nothing as technical looking as the rabbit, but each with their own appeal. I certainly look forward to adding to my toy collection in the future.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Voulez vous?

So whilst I was sitting here on my couch, listening to 1970's Swedish pop music and eating home made passion fruit cookie dough, I realised it's been quite some time since I wrote. I do believe there are a few things that need up dating...

First update: I mentioned in passing (but I can't find where), a new potential 'friend' whom I and an online friend of mine, Zelda, had been referring to as 'Nice Penis Guy'. Well after much deliberation and talking with Nice Penis Guy, I decided to once again give fuck buddies a try. I messaged him my answer and waited for a reply. And waited, and waited, and waited. This was a few months ago now and I never did receive a response. I will admit I was a bit annoyed, especially because he had been the one to proposition me. But in the end, I really don't care all that much. His loss after all.

Second Update: Nothing sex related, but I'll tell you anyway. I work at a party supply shop, aside from washing dishes, it is my first 'real' job and I have been there just over 6 months now and absolutely love it. I am a 'casual', but as of next month (pending the area manager's approval) they are going to be putting me on as 'part time'. It means a few more hours and a bit less pay but I will also be receiving sick pay and holiday pay, which more than makes up for paycut.

The other slightly amusing/annoying thing is that a few of my co-workers have somehow taken it into there heads that there is something between me and one of the guys I work with. Simply put, there isn't. As myself and he are the only two single people at my workplace, I think there just having a bit of fun. At least I hope so...

Third update: I have been making friends! Normal friends that is. At the start of this year I would have said I had maybe three friends, none of whom I was able to see regularly. Anita, Miss Brown and one other from our little group from school. Since attending the local book club however, I have become quite good friends with a woman who used to waitress at the restaurant I worked at.

I have also begun to build a bit of a friendship (platonic) with a guy 'G', I went to school with. He is just one of those absolutely genuine people. I honestly can't think of a bad word that  myself or anyone could say about him. Sitting at home the other night I found myself with a Facebook message from him. we chatted for a bit and he asked me if I wanted to come over for drinks and movie's. I at first typed a response in the negative before changing it. I mean really, what did I have to lose in going and hanging out with him?

Well it turns out he was quite intoxicated. G had been rejected by a girl had developed a bit of an interest in and he just wasn't handling it to well. He wasn't up to being alone, so when his flatmate had called it a night he hopped online and tried to find someone to hang out with. That person being me.

So we hung out on the couch and watched a few episodes of 'The Young Ones' and 'Bottoms' before, I am ashamed to admit, it came to light that I had never seen the cult favourite that is 'Pulp Fiction'. After that movie finished at around 3am, despite having had a few drinks, I headed home. Looking back, I was probably well over the legal limit and hen I passed a cop car as I was turning into my road, I nearly died. I was literally 3 houses from my place. But I was lucky and they didn't pay me any attention. It was probably The Barina that saved me, if I had been driving a Holden Commodore I probably wouldn't have been so lucky!

Fourth Update: Well, once again we are back to walking that familiar ground and discussing Mr Good-Company. I believe that last I spoke of him he had un-friended me and I was rather upset at losing his friendship. Because I'm just not to good at letting go at things, every now and then I sent him message on Facebook asking if we could be friends I of course received no reply. But then, I hadn't really expected one either.

A few weeks ago I logged onto the fetish chat site and saw that Mr Good-Company had commented on a picture of me. Or, to be more specifically, he commented on the bruises he had made which were evident in the photo. I wrote him a message asking 'Why comment on my pics if you never reply to anything else?' A few hours later I received a reply 'I get bored'. I can't exactly remember what my response was, but I mentioned that I would be attending the sex toy party and that 'I get bored too'. After another few hours I received a friend request from him. In case you're wondering, I accepted.

That was about two weeks ago now. We've had a couple of conversations since then. Nothing to heavy, nothing really more than a few words between casual acquaintances. Then, to my complete suprise the other night I found myself in the midst of an actual, lengthy conversation. Over a couple of hours we somehow worked our way from a detailed conversation about Doctor Who to our usual subject of sex, specifically sex toys.

Mr Good-Company said that I should go to Sexpo and added 'I'll take ya if ya want'. I said that it 'Could be fun' and left it at that. I had no idea if he was serious or not. I really was interested in going to Sexpo, but I also remember a certain someone say 'I'll take ya if ya want' in regards to taking me to visit the local sex shop. It never happened.

The next day I asked him if he had been serious with his offer and he said that he had been. I also asked if 'fun' would be involved and he said 'We'll see'. Though, if we did meet up, I really do hope fun would be involved. I haven't received any attention since I last met up with Mr Good Company.

At this point in time I have no expectations. As mentioned, he has said things of a similar nature before. I guess I will just see what happens closer to the date, when it becomes time to arrange things, eg. train tickets.

Fifth and most important update: It was my birthday the other day! I am now 22 years old. I celebrated by visiting my family, making myself a birthday cake in the shape of a pirate ship and having my Mother cook me one of our 'By request' birthday dinners. My absoloutly delisious dinner consisted of home grown rump steak (my parents are farmers, so this steak was 'home grown'), creamy bacon sauce, mashed potato, broad beans (my favourite), peas and buttered corn on the cob. My mouth is watering just thinking about it, thou that may also be because it is actually dinner time.

On that note, I must be off. I may not be having dinner cooked by Mum, but I'm sure I can scrounge up something equally yummy and perhaps slightly healthier than cookie dough...