This blog post will never win an award for prose.
I fucked it up again. I told The Shy Guy that I have a bit of a crush on him. Apparently he wasn't expecting it and now he's all muddled.
Whilst my telling him surprised even me, the crush itself has been happening for some time. I've been talking to The Shy Guy for approximately 22 months now and even back then, in the midst of my many GC crises it was happening.
When ever I felt rejected I'd go back to talking to The Shy Guy. He's nice, friendly and when you eventually have him talking he can hold his end of a conversation. I later on found out he had a cheeky side too. The Shy Guy is my type physically. Not a skinny little rake or a huge muscle guy, but that nice kind of average where he seems strong and fit without looking like an idiot or a poonce. The only bad things I could see were the shyness and being a farmer.
Now I don't know what to do. I've said I'll leave him alone until he unmuddles himself but I also know that I'm going to have trouble doing that. I'm thinking now that perhaps it would have been better to stick to my original decision to not sleep with him. Would that have stopped all this coming to a head? I'm just terrified that I've now lost a friend.
I wonder if this is going to be the first time I've ever regretted having sex with someone?