Sunday, 14 August 2011

The End of my Beginning

I think, rather needless to say actually, that I was very angry when I last wrote. I asked for readers to back up my point of view. To make my anger justified. I am ever so thankfull, that a good many of you disagreed. I was provided with many different reasonings for Mr Good-Company's behaviour and just as many very honest opinions of my own behaviour. I think I needed to hear it, even if it didn't help my anger.

That was two weeks ago. I said my bit to Mr Good-Company and left it at that. I had no idea if we'd be able to remain friends or if it had all ended in bad spirits. I decided not to push things and simply not speak to him again. This went well for a week and a half until I accidently started an MSN chat with him (I had another person using the same name as Mr Good-Company). It wasn't sure what to do. I just said 'whoops, wrong (insert name)' and left it that, not expecting a reply. But Mr Good-Company did reply and a conversation flowed from there.

It felt awkward. There is no other word for it. I didn't know what to say I just tried my best to keep to 'safe' topics. I think I managed. I was still angry with him, coming to terms with the fact that I would not be recieving the goodbye I wanted. I was glad when that conversation ended.

Tonight I was once again online when Mr Good-Company started chatting to me. This completely blew my mind. I can probably count the number of times he's started a conversation with me on one hand and it was always because he wanted fun, but this time he was apparently just bored. The conversation was tense (at least on my end) but eventually it relaxed and we ended up talking about how things went wrong with our arrangment. Communication and different expectations were definitely the killer between us. I'm currently considering a fuck buddy arrangement with someone else. I have no intention of making the same mistakes, but more about that later.

Eventually the conversation returned to what seems to be our default topic, sex. By this time the conversation was flowing easily and we somehow ended up talking about eczema, soft hands and what said hands could do. Mr Good-Company suggested we should compare. I replied with 'Just putting it out there, but we could have some farewell fun. Your call.' He replied with 'Sure, why not' and we talked about not having expectations a little bit more. I then went over to his place.

I don't know if I'm imagining things, but it was rather intense. I don't feel like going into detail right now (maybe I'll add those bits later) but fuck! Mr Good-Company did a better job of eating me out than ever before. He has never made me come just from oral, there have always been fingers or toys involved. But this time, boy did he manage it! Whilst we're on the topic of oral, I do believe I gave the best blow job of my life in return.

I wanted to have sex as well, but it didn't happen. Surprisingly though, I feel that I can live with that. I am of course going to asked for just one more meeting before he moves away in a fortnights time. Farewell fun is pretty awesome, but I'm sure goodbye sex could more than match it.

As it is, I'm happy with this current ending. Even though I had managed to come to terms with not having the goodbye I wanted, I was still unhappy about it. Unhappy about the lack of goodbye and unhappy about the awkwardness that had come between us. Tonight I received more than my goodbye. Too say that I'm glad things are now ending on good terms would be a definite understatement. In fact, the only thing that could make this ending any better would be sex!

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