Losing my Nut

I have a habit, when taken by an interesting idea, of diving straight into the deep end. I don't necessarily mean to, it's just what seems to come naturally to me. I go the whole hog, determined to do it properly. As my personal trainer once told me, I am a sucker for going the hard yards.

I can see you wondering what exactly it is that I've committed myself to this time. I won't draw it out, it's going to be a long drawn out process as it is. I have committed myself to roughly 5 entire weeks of self-celibacy.

Now just wait for that to sink in... Okay, you can stop laughing at me now, I'm well aware that I AM GOING TO DIE!

The idea came about from an online chat a friend and I were having. We were talking about a wireless and remote controlled vibrator I own and the fact that I cannot orgasm from it. My friend came up with the idea that perhaps I had become desensitised to vibrations over time, needing more and more power behind them to receive the desired result. This actually made a lot of sense so I decided that I would abstain from using vibrators for a while.

As we continued to talk about this the idea began to grow... If I could become overly accustomed to vibrators, then I am also overly accustomed to larger toys, the smaller ones not really doing it for me any more. So it was decided that I would abstain from them also.

Seriously! Stop laughing at me!

I of course, decided to take things one step further and abstain from all self-pleasure all together. I'd had a very good masturbatory session an hour or so before the conversation with my friend had taken place, so I had no doubts that I would be able to complete the challenge. In fact, I was actually very excited about it!

I went to bed last night and despite missing my evening play session I fell straight asleep. Then I woke in a bit of a daze at about 5am and it hit me. I WAS GOING TO DIE!

I will admit I panicked a bit then. Seriously considering having a play right then and putting the whole thing down as a massive failure, not even managing to last 24 hours. But in my sleepy little daze I thought about it some more. I wanted to do this. No one was holding me to it, it was something I was doing for me. I decided to provide myself with a limit of two clitoral based orgasms throughout that 5 week period, a sort of  'get out of jail free card'. I also decided that if I did fail in this endeavour, then it would still be okay. I still would have achieved something.

So that is what I am going to do. I certainly see some tough times ahead that's for sure, close to the end of it I'll probably find myself humping the furniture. One of the hardest things I believe will be sleeping, I actually sleep with one hand down my pants! Talk about temptation!

I decided that my challenge will end on the day I attend Sexpo, so Mr Good-Company will have to take care of the results of my abstinence, whatever they may be.

You can start laughing again now. I'm done.