Sunday, 20 November 2011

Being a Wart

No, not that sort you filthy minded folks! I am a worry wart. I stress over the littlest things. I simply can't help it. Let me explain...

I have an anxiety disorder. I don't suffer from panic attacks, I simply 'stress'. I worry, and I worry, and I worry. The more stressed I become, the more things I find to worry about.

Right now there area couple of things causing me stress. Money is a constant stressor, though over the last couple of months I have finally managed to gather myself together and start saving. Sexpo was my main motivator, but also the fact that I miss my best friend Anita. Like Mr Good-Company she lives in Melbourne, which means I don't see her very often. So to visit her, I need to save some dough.

My other main stressor at the moment is work. Not the lack of it, but that I am working a lot. It's this amount of work that is enabling to save some money. I do really, really enjoy my job, but even I become tired. I recently worked 12 days in a row and then had just one day off. Straight after I moved into another 13 day stretch. This isn't rostered on to happen, but as I mentioned, I enjoy my job and need the extra money. This means I am the first to put my hand up for any extra shifts. But by the end of it (I have currently just finished day 11 of 13) I do become a little bit grumpy.

I admit that I am a little bit grumpy now. I am tired and am tomorrow I am booked in for an appointment with my nutritionist that I know is not going to go well. Right now I am stressing about Sexpo. I can't help it. I know I have nothing to be worried about. But still I worry. I am worried about being in the city. I am nervous about being around large crowds of people. I am nervous about seeing Mr Good-Company again. I am nervous about staying the night with him. I am nervous about trying anal again and on top of all those things I'm worried that the hotel may not have received out booking!

To further annoy me, Mr Good-Company keeps disappearing from chats. I'm not as angry as I once would have been. To be honest I'm just excited that Sexpo is happening. But at the same time I want to talk about it. I want to ask questions, I want to know what I've signed up for. But over all I'm just excited and can't help rambling on!

I apologise for the fact that this post has had no real plot. Due to being stressed there were just a few things I needed to say. I am tired, grumpy and nervous, annoyed and bouncing of the walls with excitement. This time next week I will be back home after spending the night in Melbourne. I hope that I will be bruised, tired and happy.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings folks, I appreciate it.

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