Twenty Twelve Farewelled

As I write this there is only 40 minutes left of 2012. It hasn't been a bad year but it certainly hasn't been fantastic either.

Within in the first fortnight and on the same day, the best job in the world was taken from me and I farewelled GC. I didn't love GC, but my job... My job was my world and I would trade my current two jobs for it and more in an instant.

I have once again experienced workplace bullying, this time in the form of the boss and a large company that just doesn't care. As with anything as large as who I work for management are bastards and HR are heartless bastards especially when the problem is what I'm dealing with. It's all about money.

Right now I will admit that I'm in a pretty miserable state. I've had a cold for the last week though I have come mostly fine today, yet I have still spent New Years Eve at home alone. All my friends have little families and they are of course doing things with other little families. I know I wouldn't have been turned away if I asked to tag along but being the only single one amongst several families with little children is a rather depressing thing.

As such I am sitting at home on facebook watching my old school friends post photos of alcohol fueled celebrations, watching my coupled up and reproducing friends posting happy snapshots of the evening at carnivals and family fireworks. All while I'm sitting at home with the cat and feeling incredibly left out of everything.

I may be only 23 but I have already reached the age where I feel the need to reproduce. I have always wanted children and after my own turbulent childhood I have always wanted my own family. Sadly I am still sitting at home alone with my cat.

I hope 2013 is better for me. There is so much I want to do and so far this year I have only taken steps backwards.

Happy new year peeps.

Knock Knock

Anyone who caught a glimpse of my twitter feed on Monday night (03/12/12) would have noticed that I was feeling a little mopey. I'm a social person and I was feeling very lonely after having had the day off. One of my workplaces is also causing me a lot of stress money wise. Being over stressed is actually almost becoming the standard there.

Instead of giving myself and another woman extra hours to cover a third woman who is resigning the boss instead hired someone new. There is also talk of re writing all the rosters so that instead of working for example, three full days a week staff would now work six half days. They also apparently want to roster more junior staff on over weekends since us older staff earn more due to penalty rates when we are rostered on over weekends.

I earn approximately $800 a fortnight. Without my penalty rates I could lose anywhere between $100 and $200 a fortnight. That would mean I'd be in very big trouble money wise. I already work two jobs! As for reducing full days to half days that would just make working in my other job very difficult. As it stands I often do full days at both jobs. Spreading one job across most days means I would probably have to miss out on a lot of hours at my library job. Not happy.

But anyway, there I was sitting at home moping. Grumpy that The Shy Guy wasn't around to talk too, grumpy that no one else was around to talk and really upset having just found out the news about work. So there I was, sitting on the couch in dirty paint covered trackies, a stained t shirt with no bra on and with the wrappings from my frozen dinner on the floor beside me when I thought I heard a knock at the door. I listened closely just to be sure. Yes, it was definitely a knock.

I opened the door cautiously so that no one could see what I was wearing. Usually I wouldn't have cared so much but I was pretty sure I knew who it was. I was right, it was The Shy Guy. I think I felt all the blood drain from my face and I told him to wait. I shut the door on the poor guy and quickly went to put some decent clothes on. I was so glad I'd showered earlier, it was just a shame I hadn't shaved my legs!

I let him in and we chilled on the couch for a little while before he kissed me. We actually stayed on the couch for quite sometime. I'm trying to learn how to be a gentle kisser and I find that as soon as I'm in bed I lose a lot of my abilities for gentle.

With his pants unzipped and my shirt off we eventually went to bed. We lay side by side as he fingered me and I stroked his cock through his shorts. I was close to cumming just from his finger work but I was having a little problem. I had spent a very good amount of time testing out one of my new vibrators the night before so my clit was still very sensitive. Just as I was nearing the WOW moment it all became to much and I pulled his hand away. I will admit the poor bloke had a rather confused look on his face but I think I explained myself later.

After blowing him for a little we went back to lying side by side, his cock nestled between my legs. With it so close to me I couldn't help but rub it against my clit. By golly it felt nice.

In the end I just couldn't resist it any longer and reached for the condoms, briefly sucking him before I slid it on I asked him to fuck me. This is something The Shy Guy isn't very confident with but I'm hoping my orgasms from it will be enough to eventually make him aware of his skill. Damn he's good. I love the feeling of him in so deep, just about hitting the back of me. I've never really experienced that before. Did I mention he's big?

After I came we rolled over so that I was on top. I fucked him like this for several orgasms before asking him how he wanted to cum. Blow job it was. So I made sure I had my little towel ready and went to work. Teasing his knob, licking his shaft and sucking on his balls before taking him all in.

Part way through this The Shy Guy changed his mind. He wanted to come on my breasts. So we positioned ourselves with him kneeling over me and myself lying back in bed to watch how he handled himself. I like watching. Watching him as he came closer he angled his penis down toward me more and shut his eyes. The first spurt mostly missed me, shooting over the mark. The next several hit their targets with ease and I wish now that I'd reached out to taste him as he came. I stand by what I've said before, this man produces a lot of cum.

We cuddled in bed after with The Shy Guy mopping up some cum from my shoulder that I had missed in my clean up. We stayed that way for awhile, just kissing before unfortunately The Shy Guy had to leave. Though unexpected it was a nice way to spend a Monday evening.

Sexpo 2012

Sexpo was amazing! Going last year was a massive eye opener but my experience this year was definitely more enjoyable. I've decided to put this down to the fact that I wasn't stressing about GC and 'after' Sexpo and I also think I had a lot more confidence in myself this yea and we all know how good that can make a person feel about things.

This year I attended Sexpo with a friend from work. We were supposed to catch the 6.35am train/bus to Melbourne. Unfortunately, Flapper set her alarm for 5.30pm so as you can surely guess, we missed the train. After racing to catch it at the next stop we ended up road tripping to Geelong eventually arriving at the exhibition centre (Sexpo) at around 11.30am. It was worth the effort though.

Flapper and I headed straight to the bargain table before deciding to do laps of every aisle before making any purchases. I paid so much more attention to everything I was seeing this year and I still can hardly believe how much was actually there. 

Flapper is more into the leather and floggers then I am so we were keeping a special eye out on those types of items for her. Every now and then she'd hand me a toy and ask her to hit her bum with it just so she could see how hard it was. I can't say I've ever done that before! 

When we reached the back of the exhibition room we headed to the peep show. The peep show I remember seeing last year can be described as a mature woman (late thirties) fondling her breasts and pussy while lying across a couch. This year it was a much younger woman. She was licking her fingers and pumping them in herself vigorously  She would spit on her breasts and rub it in as well as lick the windows of the peep show booth. It was certainly interesting to watch.

Then finally it was shopping time! I didn't have as much spending money with me this year so I was more focused on quality purchases then buying everything that looked cool. Though sadly when I cam e to the end of my funds I was left making a very hard decision between two toys I had wanted for quite some time. In the end I chose the cheaper of the two though it was simply agonising to leave without the other.

Palmpower massager and sensual attachments, D1 Silicon dildo and Desire 'Missile Prime' bullet.

 So far I have only had the chance to test out one of my purchases, the Palm power massager and I am simply loving it. For quite awhile now I have been wanting a mains powered device after hearing so much about the Hitachi and the like. I purchased it from the D-Vice stall and though I later found it online at a cheaper price I am loving it.

I had a very quick test run of it before work yesterday before warming things up for a good go last night. Wow. it was certainly very powerful. Every now and then I would turn it up as far as I could handle before pausing and finding a more comfortable vibration speed. The thing (with the G spot attachment) actually had me writhing on the couch. 'Wow' really is the best word for it.

I of course had to buy a few fun things as well. I mean really, who can resist a chocolate penis? Unfortunately it wasn't really the best taste chocolate. But hey, it's chocolate so I'm certainly not going to complain!

Flapper and I also bought an assortment of wooden penis key rings in varying shades. These were to go to my little brother, Flapper sister in law and a small group of work girls who we would have loved to take with us but they had other commitments.

Another highlight of the trip took place on the main stage. I was wowed by the pole dancers last year and this year it was the burlesque dancers that took my breath away. The star performer was a woman by the name of Cassandra Jane.  She and her cohorts did an amazing job and oozed old time glamour. I also loved the fact that though the girls were thin, they weren't stick figures. One in particular had a wonderful amount of wobble to her bottom.

Considering it was only a last minute trip, only finding out that Flapper wanted to come with me ( I wouldn't have gone alone) with less then a week to the day was just plain good fortune. Sexpo was a much more entertaining event then attending the staff party. I really can't rave on about how much I enjoyed it!

On a finishing note I want to thank my friend Snickety for providing me with tickets. Without his wonderful connection with MJ's Toybox I wouldn't have been able to attend.On the subject of MJ's, Flapper really liked your products. I just love the teddy bears!

Keeping It Down

Well needless to say I was a little bit stressed when I last wrote. I was worried that I had lost a friend all for the sake of sex. Things weren't going great at work (and still aren't) but overall I'm in a better frame right now.

I have seen The Shy Guy twice since I last wrote and I have probably spoke to him on Facebook too much for my own good. The sex is great and neither of us have any problems with that but apparently I am coming off as 'full on' due to my eagerness to talk to him. But how did I find this out? By talking to him of course, so on that front I guess it's a bit of a catch twenty two. Because of this I'm really just trying to chill and take it easy. I'm making a very conscious effort not to start a conversation every night and just leave him alone. I don't whether we'll end up as anything more than friends with benefits but he wasn't definitely more pleasant to talk to after a few days break.

On the subject with no problems with sex, On Saturday night (25/11/12) I gave the first blow job I have given to completion since I lost my virginity. This was something I was very nervous about at the time. It was obviously a long time since I had swallowed and in previous play sessions with The Shy Guy I had taken note of the amount of cum he produced. It seemed a lot. Would I be able to give a clean blow job or would I make a mess? I don't like messy blow jobs.

After the failed attempt of our previous session (I became too nervous and reverted to jerking him off) thing were going better this time. The Shy Guy promised to tell me when he was close and I made sure I had a towel on hand in case I couldn't stomach the taste and/or the amount. I went for it.

He did cum a lot and I did gag a little. I swallowed as much as I could before utilising the towel as the last of The Shy Guy's cum landed on his stomach. 

I don't tend to gag often, so this was new for me. I suspect that it was a combination of the amount of cum and the taste that caused the reflex to occur. It had a pool water/chlorine sort of taste to it that I've never come across before but it was mostly tolerable until I just couldn't swallow fast enough. Thankfully The Shy Guy was enjoying it all too much to care if I could take it all.

I'm looking forward to trying it again. I like a challenge and The Shy Guy is certainly one of those.

Next post: Sexpo 2012!

Oops, I did it Again.

This blog post will never win an award for prose.

I fucked it up again. I told The Shy Guy that I have a bit of a crush on him. Apparently he wasn't expecting it and now he's all muddled.

Whilst my telling him surprised even me, the crush itself has been happening for some time. I've been talking to The Shy Guy for approximately 22 months now and even back then, in the midst of my many GC crises it was happening.

When ever I felt rejected I'd go back to talking to The Shy Guy. He's nice, friendly and when you eventually have him talking he can hold his end of a conversation. I later on found out he had a cheeky side too. The Shy Guy is my type physically. Not a skinny little rake or a huge muscle guy, but that nice kind of average where he seems strong and fit without looking like an idiot or a poonce. The only bad things I could see were the shyness and being a farmer.

Now I don't know what to do. I've said I'll leave him alone until he unmuddles himself but I also know that I'm going to have trouble doing that. I'm thinking now that perhaps it would have been better to stick to my original decision to not sleep with him. Would that have stopped all this coming to a head?  I'm just terrified that I've now lost a friend.

I wonder if this is going to be the first time I've ever regretted having sex with someone?

An Accidental Investment

A long time ago I wrote this little piece about The Shy Guy.

Assuming you have now read that snippet I'm going to tell you that for the last year and a half I have continued to talk to him, at some point he even ended up as one of Facebook friends. We kept talking, him usually starting the conversation as like I said, I did lose interest at times. I can only keep a conversation going for so long without the other person chipping in after all.

But talk we did and slowly The Shy Guy became less shy. We talked about the usual inane stuff, tv books etc and sex of course. We became quite flirtatious even. He often requested I send him pictures, which I refused. It's very rare that I send pictures to someone I haven't met in person.

The Shy Guy eventually even suggested we meet for sex since it had been a very long time for him (about two years). I did think about this for awhile but in the end I decided against it. We'd been friends for a long time and I didn't want to ruin that.

I kept thinking about it however...

A week ago I decided to take The Shy Guy up on his offer. He was a nice guy, local and umm... apparently rather well endowed. But this had taken me several months to decide and by now The Shy Guy was hesitant. He'd been my friend through all my sexual adventures and felt I was now reaching for the 'bottom of the barrel'. Not the case. I don't do that kind of thing. If I choose to sleep with someone it's because I like you in some way or another.

The Shy Guy and I talked a lot more often that week. I sort of felt like I was doing some sort of audition, I'm not sure why though as our conversations were the same as they'd always just more frequent. Whilst texting me Friday night The Shy Guy said that he was in town and that maybe we could meet up for half an hour or so before he had to go to a meeting. I said no but said he was welcome to come over afterwards. For a first time meeting with a person half an hour just wasn't going to be enough for me.

He eventually decided that he would come over. When he opened the door I was slightly taken aback by the fact he looked exactly like his photos and by the fact he was a good four or five inches taller then me. Hard to do considering I'm 6 foot tall.

I invited him and put on a Doctor Who dvd. We sat there for the entirety of the episode, making stunted conversation. When the episode ended there was that kind of awkward silence before we somehow ended up talking about his dogs. This brought The Shy Guy out of his shell. I believe we talked for half an hour or so until I finally found the nerve to invite him to my room and show him my toys.

As much as we were both there for sex, The Shy Guy was a bit shocked by my bluntness, but hey.

We went into my bedroom and I showed him each of my toys, talking about them and telling him about their little quirks. When I was finished, unsure of what to do next, I kissed him.

Well! By golly was there a reaction then! The Shy Guy enthusiastically kissed me back, running his hands along my breasts and up under my shirt. We made out, groping each other as he tried to undo my bra. I pulled my shirt off and helped him. Still kissing him I straddled him, grinding my crotch against his groin. He was definitely hard.

I climbed off him and guided his hand to the waistband of my tights. Slipping his hand between my legs I encouraged him to rub my clit and then to slide his fingers inside of me. He was a bit rough but damn it felt good. As The Shy Guy did this I undid his fly, rubbing his cock through his pants and then sliding my hand between skin and pants. He winced as I did this and I admit I was probably a little bit rough.

I slid my tights off and his jeans soon followed. I continued to stroke his cock before I did what I really wanted to do. I leant forward and placed his cock in my mouth, sucking gently. I was so scared that I was going to ruin the fun early by doing this. Remember that The Shy Guy hadn't had any action in quite some time. But risk it I did. The Shy Guy certainly seemed to enjoy it.

I soon went back to kissing him and whilst I did this he continued to stroke my clit. It felt really good. I ended up burying my head in his shoulder as he did this and were it not for the lack of rhythm I would have came.

It was at this point when I decided to ride him. I slid him in between my thighs and up into my pussy, rubbing my clit as I did so. Due to the clit rubbing earlier, I very quickly found myself cumming. I continued to ride him, really feeling him thrust inside me. This guy hadn't been kidding about his size at all.

The Shy Guy eventually told me he was close and his thrusting became harder. Damn it felt good.

The Shy Guy turned out to be one of those silent orgasmers, I could barely tell when he came. This was a tad disappointing only because I find it so hot to hear a guy moan.

We continued to kiss for a little while, just lying there before it was time for The Shy Guy to head home.

I'm still unsure what the aftermath of us sleeping together is going to be. I definitely want to do it again but as yet the only answer from The Shy Guy is 'We'll see'. We're still talking though I sense The Shy Guy has regressed slightly back into shyness but then it could also just be my over eagerness to talk to the people I sleep with making things seem this way. But still talking is a good thing. In the end, I guess we will see and hopefully it will be each other we'll be seeing.

Just Trippin'

A couple of days ago ( Sunday, 16/09/12) I went on a little bit of a road trip. A little bit of a 180km plus times two road trip. I was of course meeting a guy from the internet. As the readers close to me know I am still insisting on doing the internet dating thing with varying degrees of failure and very small amount of success. Success being measured by the fact that I have never once met the rapist/murderer that everyone insists hangs on on dating sites.

I had been speaking to Cityboy for approximately two weeks when before I met him. City boy, as the name suggest is from Melbourne, four hours away from where I live. When we first began talking he commented that the fact that I lived 40kms away was far. When I had to correct him that it was actually 240kms I put him firmly into friend territory. If he thought 40kms was far away surely the truth meant that we would never meet!

We did discuss meeting though. It was agreed we would meet at a very rough half way point of Geelong. However within a day of coming to this decision I was having second thoughts. I messaged Cityboy and told him that I couldn't go through with it. I'd already fallen for one person I couldn't have and I had no intention of doing it again.

Somehow though, Cityboy talked me into changing my mind. I will admit I had a little to do with this, I'm trying to live by the rule of 'Why not?'. If you don't try something, you'll simply never know how it could have turned out. So a day in Geelong was booked in.

As the time neared closer to Sunday our texts began to take on a very sexual nature. As the weekend drew closer the main thought running through my head was 'If it comes to it, where will we have sex?' At this stage I of course had no idea if I would even like the guy or not but hey, I like to be prepareard so I packed a few condoms.

On the day I squeezed myself into some tummy tightening undies, pulled up my tights and put on a dress (relatively easy access, excluding the undies), I set my GPS and headed o Geelong.

Now sticking to my true nature of balloon artist the first thing I did when I arrived was go to the Geelong branch of my old workplace. As soon as I saw the familiar signage I coudn't stop grinning. I know it sounds corny, but it really was like coming home. I loved that job.

Afterward I headed into the city, holding my breath the majority of the way. Being quite a homebody of a country bumpkin, I had had never driven in a town of this size. I was only honked at once so overall I think I did okay. Once I parked my car I went into a maze of a shopping centre to have a look around whilst I waited for Cityboy to arrive. 

When Cityboy did eventually arrive I then had the task of finding him in the aformentioned shopping centre maze. He told me where he was and purely by chance I managed too walk in the right direction.

When I saw him I wil admit I was a little bit dissapointed. I like tall guys. Know I did know the eight of Cityboy before I met him, however in person he just seemed so much shorter then I had pictured. But hey, I was here now so let's make a go of it.

Since neither Cityboy or I were from Geelong neither of us really had any idea of what to do or where to go so we just had a look around. We wandered around the shopping centre for a while before heading outside. After walking several blocks we somehow found ourselves back at the shopping centre. I don't know how, I still can't figure it out but damn it we were back in there!

I knew Geelong had some pretty good vintage markets so it was decided that we would try and find our way to them. I typed the address into Google Maps and we headed of in the general direction of the markets. We walked for what actually seemed quite some time and Cityboy eventually asked jokingly if I was leading him of to some dark alley to murder him. At least I hope he was joking...

But we did eventually find the markets. We browsed the three story building for a couple of hours eventually just hanging out on the third floor. This seemed to be the dumping ground for some very average furniture including several couches. No we weren't naughty, though I do suspect he was thinking about it. we sat there and talked, showing each other photos until closing time neared.

Cityboy and I headed back in the direction of the main street. As we walked I remembered having seen a sex shop on my drive in. Not telling Cityboy what I was thinking we just kept walking, eventually stopping outside what was sadly a closed sex shop. Revealing my intentions I did a fast bit of Googling work, sourcing another sex shop nearby. When we arrived at this one it was at least open.

Walking inside I took in the usual display of phallic objects and scraps of fabric hanging on coat hangers. It was smaller then my local shop, but with a better range of stock. As I suspected I would be, I was the only girl in the shop. After taking a good look around I headed to the counter with a bottle of strawberry lube. Unlike the owner at my local shop, the guy behind the counter was definitely not creepy. He actually reminded me of the old man character from the movie UP!

We went back to the car park and it was quickly decided we would have a look at another nearby sex shop, Sexyland. As soon as I walked inside I was amazed.The place was huge! It had so many things! I just wanted to buy everything that I'd ever wanted online! But I didn't. It was very easy to see just how massively the products had been marked up compared to the online store I usually shop at.

After this it was food time and after food time neither of us had no idea what to do next. As we had been waiting for dinner Cityboy had been texting me that he thought I was cute and that he was up for anything. I took 'up for anything' to mean sex and at this stage I was also up for anything.

We headed down to the waterfront and walked around for a little bit. The water there is so creepy compared to the live ocean that I have here. With every step I expected Cityboy to make a move. But he didn't. We headed back to the car and he said that he should take me back to my car. I suggested that we could just drive around for a bit. So we did.

We eventually ended up parked in a fairly secluded area. We just sat there for a bit, just talking, me still waiting for him to make a move. When he once again said that he should take me back to my car, that he didn't know what else we could do. I said (referencing a conversation from earlier that week) that I was still waiting for him to be naughty.

'Like this?'

With that Cityboy finally kissed me.

After kissing in the front seat for a little while he suggest we switch to the back. So we did. After making out for what seemed like a short time he had his pants of and soon after I had squirmed my way out of mine. With very little foreplay he was asking me to ride him and I was climbing aboard.

There was however one issue with this. I'm 6ft tall. It was just not possible for me to ride his dick without hitting my head on the roof of the car. We switched to missionary which was much more comfortable. 

We had one more issue after this however. Be it nerves or fear of being caught, after fucking me for a while Cityboy would begin to go soft. This actually didn't concern me to much however. I used this interim period to give myself a little extra stimulation. As he was still poised on top of me I would stroke his cock and use the head of it to rub my clit. It felt so damn good. When he grew hard again we would simply resume sex.

We continued this for some time before switching it up with a blowjob. Apparently I am skilled in this area and Cityboy was soon enjoying himself. When my mouth became sore I used my hands, directing his own hands to my pussy. With his mouth on my right nipple and his fingers on my clit I was soon grinding against his hand. As I came closer I placed his hand lower down, fingers inside me and began to rub my clit myself. I came hard and fast.

Switching my attentions back to Cityboy I continued to stroke his cock. At his direction I began to fondle his balls as his own hand took over where mine had been. I watched, fascinated as he stroked himself until he came.

We sat there for a little while afterward, wriggling our way back into our clothes. I had finally had sex in a car. Finally another something I could cross off my list.

We then headed back to the car park so that I could find my little car and start the three hour trip home. There was just one other little hurdle to deal with first though. My poor little car had been locked in the car park!  Calling the number for after hours service a very nice security guard was able to let us in. My car once again in my possession and Cityboy dropped back at his own car I was finally on my way home. A long and tiring drive was to follow before I finally arrived home at one in the morning.

I honestly never expected to hear from Cityboy again, but here we are nearly a week later still talking. He say's he wants to see me again and I've agreed. I'm assuming because of the distance he only wants sex and I'm okay with that. A regular fuck buddy would be a very welcome thing to have again. After everything with GC (Mr Good Company has now been abbreviated) I will admit I'm just a little bit afraid of falling for him. I never want to go through a mess like that again. I can only hope that the distance between myself and Cityboy will be enough of a deterrent.

Note: Just a little shout out to the crowd here. One of my regular readers and confidants wanted his own Jess Carlson brand name. So to honour his request, a big hello to Man with a Hat (MWAH)! Never say I don't keep my word folks!

The Past: Part One

'Women r stupid, manipulative and unpredictable creatures sent from the fires of hell to distrupt my perfect life... Except you. You are my friend. You are like a terminator. You look like one of them but you are normal.'

That is a direct quote from my friend G-string. It gave me the biggest laugh in a long time! Now onto more serious topics, I told you I'd tell you about the last two guys I was seeing so here I am.

The first guy, let's call him Number Three, is/was studying to be a massage therapist. I met him in my usual way of online dating. I'd added him on the dating site many months before I met him. After I spoke to him I had come to the conclusion he was needy and too apologetic. I could't log on without him saying hello and after a few seconds of not  replying he would be apologising for bothering me. Have some balls man!

But after months of trying not to talk to this needy guy I ended up sooking to him after it became apparent to me that things were never going to go anywhere with Willow. During those few months of not talking to him he seemed to have normalised a bit, or maybe I was just lonely. But after another week of chatting we agreed to meet. We agreed to met a few blocks from my place, as I was walking there I could see him waiting outside the hotel. I don't know whey (except that I'm a wuss) but I kind of ducked out of site and hid until I decided to suck it up and go meet the guy.  We walked to the movies, talking a bit on the way. We went and saw The Avengers and by golly it was an awesome movie!

By the time the movie had finished we had relaxed more and we walked back to my place where we watched a couple of movies. As it came around to 1am, Number Three said it was probably time for him to leave. Looking at him* I replied 'Or' and then I kissed him. Let me stop here and point something out, this was the first physical contact of a sexual nature the guy'd had in two years. It didn't take much to make him excited that's for sure!

Unfortunately for me, Number Three turned out to be a bit of a good boy. Despite my best encouragement tactics I could barely entice him to feel my breasts and there was no chance I was going to be loosing any clothes that night.

I ended up straddling him, kissing him and feeling his cock. At first I only teased, slipping my hand just under the waistband of his jeans. Eventually though I gave in and started stroking him. I just couldn't resist! As I stroked him I seriously thought that he was going to cum in his pants. Number Three was just sitting there, leaning back, eyes shut with a big smile on his face. Every now and then Number Three would fight against me, pushing me back and trying to hold me still. He would eventually let me win though and I would resume playing with him.

After he left that night there continued to be a lot of texting going on between us. I of course wanted to see him again but he was busy was study and din't know when he would be free. I was cool with that so I didn't push the issue. 

On the Friday night a week after we had first met I was texting him as usual. At one point in the conversatinon I asked Number Three if he was scared of seeing me again and he said that I was. I was a little sad about this I will admit. Not ten minutes after I heard a knowck at my door. Expecting my sister I opened the door without bra and wearing my flannelette pyjamas. 

It wasn't my sister, it was Number Three. I told him to wait there, slammed the door shut and quickly ran inside to put some decent clothes on before letting Number Three in. He could't stay long as he was meeting his sister and her boyfriend for dinner. Sitting on the couch we started watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory. After maybe ten minutes, I looked at him and told him there was no way I could behave. I leaned over and kissed him.

After kissing for a very short while he began wrestling me away again. It was actually kinda fun. We did this until it was time for him to leave, alternating a little bit of kissing with play fighting. 

I was ridiculously happy that night, no guy had ever been nice to pay me a surprise visit before. I loved it!

Sadly, as you no doubt have already realised, this doesn't have a happy ending. Number Three led me on for several weeks after that. We'd make dates, only for him to cancel at the last minute. He'd have to take his cousin home or help his sister with something. These activities always finished early in the evening but instead of reinstating ou arrangements I'd always receive the reply of 'I'm too tired' or 'I just want to relax tonight'. 

I didn't want to, but in the end I gave up. This was a guy who insisted he really liked me before and after we first met but then he went cold. I thought he was just busy, since he was still 'trying' to meet with me. I finally gave up though when his absence in the middle of one of our conversations. I 'yelled' at him via chat and eventually received a reply back asking 'Why are you angry with me? I'm talking to someone I really like! Should I just stop talking to them'?

I didn't say anything back then. I just gave up. Up until that moment I had thought the person he really liked was me.

Fill in the Blanks

Needless to say i haven't been around for a little while. I know it sound silly but I was actually wondering for a while if this blog was jinxed. So, to test me theory I decided not to write about the guys I've been seeing. Sadly it doesn't seem to e the blog that's jinxed, I think it's actually me.

I've met some nice guys over the last few months, been left entirely befuddled by one and the second didn't go far despite the promising long phone calls and endless texting. Further backing up my theory of 'jinxed' is the fact that both of these guys ended up with girls within a fortnight of saying they couldn't see me any more.

I have been working as much as possible during these times, trying to establish some savings so that I can one day open my own business. Savings account balance: Approximately zero. Needless to say I need either a full time job, more hours at both my jobs or to win the lottery. Lottery would be preferable.

I have two posts planned too update you on my dating activities. I'm just flying by at the moment just to let you know that I'm still around. So hello, here I am and I promise that I'll be back later!

There were Four in the Bed and the Little one said...

Well I finally have something entertaining to write about

Last Saturday (The 30th of June), despite feeling a little tired and over it My friend Princess and I left her partner and child at home and went to the gym. We quickly became bored and decided to abandon out fitness efforts and went for a drive around town instead.

As we drove past one of the local pubs/clubs Princess saw a poster advertising the appearance of Timomatic (participant in perhaps Australia's got Talent). Now apparently this guy is someone Princess was hanging out to see since he was in town to headline at the local childrens festival though she was unaware he would also be performing at Eden on this same night.

She quickly rang her partner, received the go ahead for a girls night and set about rounding up another friend to come with us. Princess and I split so as to dress up our respective persons. Meeting at her we headed to Sam's house. After pre-drinks there we scammed a lift into town with the drinking buddy of Sam's husband, convincing drinking buddy to come out with us as the taxi delivered us into town.

Arriving at Eden we were surprised we didn't need tickets. I had my first ever jager bomb, we all drank, danced and were squished in a crowd when Timomatic came on stage. After his performance we went back to drinks at the bar at which time Princess and Sam began their usual game of pulling poor random guys from the crown and convincing these guys to kiss me as it was apparently my birthday.

After a few failed attempts one guy gave me a quick peck on the lips. As he hung around Princess tried to convince me to go for it. Eventually I did. I think the guy was surprised. He actually said that he wasn't expecting me to kiss back like that. As I kissed him I heard the 'WHOO HOO's' of my friends. I know I thought about giving them the finger, I can't remember if I did or not though.

This guy, Craig and I soon parted and just stood there awkwardly trying to talk for a little while before we both wandered apart. But I kept watching him. I couldn't believe that I had just kissed a random guy like that. I must have been drunker then I realised.

As three in the morning rolled around (closing time) I visited the loo and my friends and I prepared to leave. As we headed to the door I saw Craig talking to another guy. Breaking away from my friends I went over and tapped him on the shoulder, asking 'Would you like to come home with me?'

After looking at me in a dazed manner for a few moments he answered with 'Sure'.

As we reached Princess standing at the door she asked me if I was sure, confirming that I was indeed 'sure', Craig an I headed of in the direction of my place. As we walked he warned me that he had an injury to his back and that he was on a lot of painkillers so he both may not be able to move around a lot and he may have some problems keeping things as hard as they needed to be. Neither thing was an issue with me. I like to be on top and in my drunken state I had no doubt that I would be able to make him hard.

When we finally reached my bedroom clothes were removed and we began to make out. Of course I was nervous. I hadn't had sex in nearly 6 months, I had a complete stranger in my room and I had to be at work in just 8 hours.

Craig soon began to finger me, rubbing my arse and asking if I was into that. I wasn't, but since it was obviously something he was into I was cool with letting him rub the entrance to aforementioned arse as he fingered me.

As I began to touch Craig he became the first guy to have me touch his cock whilst it was soft. That soon began to change as he continued to finger me, suck my nipples and then upon my request, bite them.

Commenting on how wet I was, Craig asked if I wanted his cock. I nodded and reached for the box of condoms in my bedside cabinet. Of course the damn box was empty! Even now I can't figure out where the things have gone. I only blew one up as a balloon...

Thankfully I am the the sort to be prepared and I pulled another (full) box out of my underwear drawer. As I began to roll the condom onto his cock, I began to encounter one of the problems Craig had warned me about. As I played with his cock, kissed him and rubbed his balls, Craig once again became hard and I began to ride him.

As I came, we both heard voices but as common sense says to, we just assumed it was my neighbours. As we switched positions for Craig to do me doggy style the voices, now accompanied by banging, became clearer.

'Jess!'

'JESS! Let us in!'

JESS! Helllllo?'

It was Princess and Sam. I thought they had gone home. I quickly put on a dressing gown and opened the door, planning on telling them to go away. I'm going to point out that as it was below 5 degrees Celsius so I couldn't leave them there. As I spoke to them it turned out my neighbours were being creepy (very drunk 50 year old guy and girl inviting them in). So I let the poor girls and went back to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

As Craig and I once again began to fool around we could hear the slight creaking sound that tends to signal someone is trying to discreetly listen at the door. Craig and I looked at each other, myself planning on ignoring it but he had other ideas. Jumping out of bed naked and with a pretty decent erection Craig quietly walked over to the door and flung it open.

Sam screamed as she both fell into the room and her hand grazed Craig's cock. I cracked up laughing. She cracked up laughing. Craig cracked up laughing. Poor Princess who was in the bathroom started yelling for us to tell her what was happening.

In the next few minutes Princess and Sam ended up sitting on the end of my bed huddled in a blanket whilst Craig and I sat in bed under the blankets.

As we sat there I couldn't help but rub Craig's dick. I stopped when Sam realised what I was doing and asked me to stop. After some of the benign, random conversation that only occurs between drunk people, Princess and Sam decided they wanted to see Craig's penis. He showed them.

Then things escalated. He started touching himself, continuously commenting how this fucked up scenario was really turning him on. The girls asked me to touch him. While at first I refused I somehow ended up doing exactly that ( I was very drunk). The girls wanted to film myself and Craig having sex. Thankfully they soon forgot this idea, just continuing to stare at his cock whilst questioning where he was from.

Craig was 24 years old and from a town several hours away. He travelled a lot for work and was currently staying in town with some friends or brother. These friends or brother were currently trying to ring him. As you would have to do, Princess and Sam answered the phone and began to moan in ecstasy.

After this Princess and Sam went to call a taxi, leaving me and Craig to it. Some how it ended up with him flashing them again (something of an exhibitionist I think). But when Craig came back to be he all of a sudden came down with quite the set of shivers. Excusing himself several minutes later to go to the bathroom. Deciding that part of the night was probably over I went to help Princess and Sam secure a taxi.

When Craig headed back to the bedroom I followed and he apologised for the fact that he was going to have to leave. He was feeling really sick and his friends were locked out of the hotel room because he had the key. I was actually fine with that. I'd rather have the poor guy leave then throw up. I gave him my number and he hugged me. We just stood like that for several minutes Craig commenting that he didn't want to leave as i was so nice and warm. It was actually really nice.

So that was the end of my first one night stand, the first time I had really enjoyed myself whist going out and the first time I ever had an audience in the bedroom. When I gave gave Craig my number I didn't expect to hear from him and I haven't. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Overall I'm feeling quite proud of myself. I asked a guy to come home with me. I weigh 140kgs and he said yes. Even taking into account 'beer goggles' I obviously can't look as bad as I think at times. Apparently we're going out again this weekend. For some reason I feel the need to prove that my one night stand wasn't a fluke. I wonder if I can pull this off twice?

V Day

No, not that V day, not the V day that involves hearts, flowers and a diaper clad baby shooting unsuspecting people with arrows. This V Day. This is my V Day. On this day 12 months ago I lost my virginity.

On the 23rd of June 12 months ago I headed over to Mr Good-Company's with a couple of toys and some lube only to end up having sex. Sure, as you will know sex wasn't supposed to happen. But I don't regret it. It was with someone I liked, trusted and to this day am still friends with. As such I choose to celebrate this day.

Ideally I would love to celebrate by having sex. Unfortunately, due to lack of male friend, I have had to do with a mastabatory session instead. I treated myself to chips with my dinner at a local cafe where they have the most extensive range of burgers (the Swiss chicken burger is my favourite). The friend I was dinning with didn't know I was celebrating but I assure you I was.

I'm now sitting at home with some butterscotch schnapps, having a few drinks and just remembering the good times. I let Mr Good-Company know what today is. I haven't heard anything back but that's okay. Today is my day, not his and as such I plan to keep celebrating this day for it's remaining two hours. 


Happy V Day everyone!

Note: A 'birthday' cake is on the way but due to the sex shop being closed when it was supposed to be open, I was unable to source the penis candles I was after. Wait for it though! That cake is coming!

A Little Cloud of Bleak

I warn you from the start, there isn't going to be anything at all entertaining in this post.

These last few months have seen so much going on and I'm afraid that very little of it has been worth celebrating. Things didn't work out with Willow though I'll admit I didn't really expect them too. I then met a really nice guy who actually went out of his way to spring a surprise visit on me, catching me in my pyjama's at 6pm. Despite what I thought was a promising start to things that didn't go as hoped either. Now after three weeks of online chats with him and his repeated promises of friendship and to come visit me I will have to say I've even given up all hope of either of those things ever really happening. I have finally exhausted the local online dating pool and am really not sure what to do next or how to do it.

I've also been having a lot of problems with work. As I've mentioned I am one of many drones who work for a large chain of retail stores. Well about a month ago now I received a phone call (on the store number). It turned out to be from the local library and they were offering me a job. I accepted and subsequently angered my boss at the store. She doesn't want to share me as it means I am now unable to cover many of the random shifts that pop up due to people calling in sick and going on holidays. I can see why she's angry, but when she's not giving me enough hours to survive on without having to ask my parents for money, what else am I supposed to do but take a second job?

I am also still fighting that battle with weight and depression I believe I mentioned at some stage. I'm afraid I'm having no luck with either. At least once a day I find myself coming out of the McDonalds drive thru with a passenger seat laden with food that will not help either my waistline or state of mind. Since my depressive state seems to be closely linked with my weight and my work life it's pretty safe to say that the way things have been going lately haven't really provided any chance for an improvement of mood.

Now to the brighter side of this little update. There is of course the library job which I am thrilled about. What makes it even more of a high point is that I didn't even apply for the position or know of it's existence. The library staff knew me and offered me a job in good faith. I am pleased that I can at least present myself as a capable person even when things are falling around my ears. This job means I have finally been able to buy the new washing machine I have needed for nearly five years. No longer does doing washing mean I risk having my clothes torn to threads.

Unrelated to my new job and improvement of finances is some news that makes me both jealous and thrilled in turn. One of my best friends has just announced she's pregnant! The little munchkin isn't due until the sixth of January so she is is telling people early but I couldn't resist starting a baby quilt for her. Though I will admit I had some trouble finding a suitable, gender neutral appliqué pattern.

I'll try to fill in a few more blanks soon enough but as things are at the moment I just haven't felt like writing. To be honest, there have been too many times of late when I have just felt like curling up in a little ball and crying myself into oblivion. I'm trying to keep smiling to keep smiling though all this.In the end it's the only thing I can do even if my smile doesn't actually match my feelings. At least with a smile I'm the only one who really knows how bad things are.

Bait and Tackle

It took a month, but I was finally able to catch up with Willow again. It was a lot of fun.

He doesn't seem to be much of texter, rarely replying. But when he does reply he seems to stick around for a half-decent conversation length. I will admit that I've taken to baiting him a bit, just seeing what it takes to initiate a response from him when he's being quiet. Wednesday's bait? 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting?'. That worked.

It ended up that he was going to be free for a few hours that evening so we arranged to meet up when he finished work. Since I knew we didn't have much time i decided not to mess around with movies etc, but to show him my toy collection. This was something he had expressed definite interest in right from the beginning. The topic came up when we were first talking online and again when we were in bed the first time.

When Willow arrived at my place I took him straight into my bedroom. Perched on the edge of the bed I pulled out my drawers off toys and began to tell him about them. Encouraging him to touch and feel them he was amazed at the size of them (I do tend to favour larger toys).

Eventually I ran out of things to say and I will admit I went a bit quiet. I knew due him being quite shy/nervous etc that I was going to have to start things off which isn't really in my nature. But I did it. I sat the toys on the floor, lent across the gap between us and I kissed him. I of course started grinning.

We played around for a bit, just kissing and touching before Willow started to have a more purposeful go at removing my breasts from my bra. Being the nice person I am, I helped him out and removed my top, his clothes and my jeans followed soon after.

I had asked him at one point if he enjoyed recieving oral. He said yes. I really enjoy doing this but had been way to nervous to when we first met. After fooling around naked for a bit, Willlow asked me what I wanted to do next. I knew what he was saying but I went all shy and replied with 'I'm not sure'.

We continued kissing for a little while longer before my hand went down to his cock. My mouth followed.

I will remind you all here, that this was only the second guys penis I have ever had in my mouth. I couldn't help but compare the two, they felt so different yet similar. The pre-cum of the two tasted different, though actual skin of the two tasted fairly similar and of course the size and shape varied between the two.  But what really bemused me was the different way the two cocks moved.

Mr Good-Company's penis at times seemed to do dances of it's own accord, moving and jerking around to it's own private tune. Willow's on the other hand, didn't do this. It instead moved in a much more subtle way inside my mouth. As I sucked on him, using my hand on the base and my mouth everywhere else I could feel him become thicker and harder. It was the strangest thing. I did actually notice this a little the first time we played, though since my hand is less sensitive then my mouth I was only able to feel it right before he came. I was never able to tell with Mr Good-Company, knowing only by the sounds he made and his hands on my head that he was close.

As I sucked Willow, myself laying on my side and him kneeling in front of me, he began to use a dildo in me. As I continued to feel him change inside my mouth he told me that I was going to make him cum. Stopping my oral affections I asked him if he wanted to try sex. He said yes.

I continued playing with him using my hands as I rolled the condom onto his cock. Kissing, we lay back down on the bed and Willow slid himself inside of me. I'm not being critical, but after a little while it became apparent that missionary just wasn't going to work for me, so I asked him if I could go on top. With myself on top things worked much better. He slid in easy and stayed in. I began to move and it began to feel really good. I really wanted to make Willow cum and it wasn't too long before he told me that was indeed going to happen.

After he came I stayed where I was just enjoying the feeling of having him inside of me. When I had my breath back I climbed of and lay down beside him. He asked again if he could use a dildo on me. Passing him my favourite purple dildo he slid it inside of me, my hand guiding him until the speed was just right. As he did this I began to play with myself, rubbing my clit as Willow slid the dildo in and out. Every so often he would suck my nipples in a very gentle manner, just the barest of touches. As I continued to rub myself I began to cum, gripping his shoulder hard as I did so.

It was a good one and apparently I couldn't stop grinning afterwards as Willow asked what I was smiling about it. I'm just a pretty smiley person though I think. As we dressed we talked about tattoos, myself still undecided on what I want and if I want any and Willow already having several. I like tattoos, especially when people actually have them represent something important. This is one reason I have none yet. I am yet to find something so important that I want it drawn on my body for life.

Saying goodbye to Willow that night I told him that I didn't want to have to wait a month to see him again and he agreed. I will admit that I haven't heard anything from his since that night, but I do have my reasons for suspecting I will see and hear from him again. I waited a month when others told me to give up, I have no doubt that I can wait again.

Wondering what Willow's response to 'What would you say if I told you I was into anal fisting' was? I believe it was along the lines of 'Ha ha ha! No way is your hand going anywhere near my ass'. I must say I'm of a similar opinion.

Long Time No See

I am, without any doubt, frustrated. I was supposed to meet Willow for the second time the other night, two and half weeks after we'd first met. It didn't happen.

I was stood up. I never knew what time exactly he was supposed to arrive and neither did he as he had to play netball first. But at around 9pm I received a text saying he'd just arrived home. So I of course expected that he'd show up after however long it takes a guy to shower and eat. An hour later I'd heard nothing so I sent a text to which I received no reply. An hour after that I rang him and was cut off. Then I lost my temper.

I sent a text saying 'I have apparently been stood up and now you've hung up on me. Nice'. Then I finally received an explanation and several apologies. Apparently friends had been at home when he arrived, so he hadn't been able to come over as planned. As far as I'm concerned that's a reasonable excuse, what annoys me is the fact that he didn't think to tell me what was going on.

I have forgiven him (I think) for several reasons:

• He does still seem to be a genuinely nice guy.
• It was a reasonable excuse.
• I'm running out of guys online.
• I'm a nice person and he is rather attractive.
• He stayed in bed with me for ages after sex and I really want to do that again.

Now I admit that some of those probably aren't the best reasons for choosing to forgive someone but I tried my best. We're still trying to find a make-up date to replace Monday, but damn the guy has a hell of a lot of extra-curricular activities going on! If it's meant to be anything, be it friends with benefits or more then I guess it will happen. I'm a naturally impatient person of that I have no doubt, I'm just hoping that in this case waiting really pays off.

Houston, We have a Problem

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much as I used too. There is the obvious reason for this of course (lack of play partner) but there are also a few other thing going on in the background that you may or may not be aware of. Since some of you readers have been so lovely, I thought I'd fill you in.

I've been a mild dose of anti depressants for about 12 months now. These aren't for depression though, they are instead to help me deal with my anxiety. But things haven't been going so well lately. As you know I lost my job, my play partner, I gained a lot of weight and I also started a new job whose utter monotony (depending on the department I'm working in) really has me feeling down at times. This new job also makes me realise how much I miss my old job, but I think as I settle in it's starting to improve, I hope.

But back to these mild anti depressants. Today after a discussion with my Doctor, we decided to up the dose. We're really hoping that this will improve my mood in general but also my motivation in regards to food and exercise. In the last 12 months I have gained 20kgs. If I keep going the way I am I will be back at my heaviest (159kgs) within 6 months. I know that once I'm back there I'll just give up. I'm close to giving up now to be honest, hence the decision to up my medication.

Twelve months ago I ate relatively healthy, I went to the gym everyday without fail. I had no friends, but I was the happiest I had ever been. In contrast, today I have some wonderful friends, but I am utterly miserable and regaining my anti social ways. I dread the waking hours. I don't want to go to the gym, even with my friends. Once upon a time the trainers at the gym used to actually tell me to take a break.

I want to be like I was twelve months ago. I don't want to be sitting at home on the couch in tears, alone and stuffing my face with McDonalds and chocolate. I know I can change my behaviours. I have to. the alternative is to continue slowly killing myself.

Just Whinging

The title says it all really. The whinge topic of the day you ask? Boys. Seriously, what else was it going to be about.

It's been two and a half weeks now since I first met Willow in person.  Since then we have spoke on the phone once, organising meet up number two only for him to cancel. We have exchanged numerous texts, even naughty pics.

However, we're still trying to organise meet up number two. The issue? He's always busy (insert sad face). He told me he would probably be able to meet up today (Sunday) or this coming Wednesday. On Friday he said he didn't know what his plans were for the weekend but that he might be away. I had expected him to let me know on Saturday what was going to happen. Nothing.

I have sent texts, tried to call but I'm not receiving any response. I'm honestly not sure what to think. Needless to say I'm starting to become just a tad frustrated here. So far I like the guy but surely arranging a second date shouldn't be this hard!

That's all I have to say really. I'm frustrated and just as confused about him as I ever was. If he hadn't been such a nice guy when I met him in person I have no doubt that I would have figure 'screw him' by now. I consider myself to be a really decent person, if a little bit impatient when I want something. I have tried my best to wait for him, I am really trying to be patient. I may be just my thinking, but surely nearly three weeks of waiting for a second date would test even the most patient of people?

Messing Around

I'm not one to mess around with people. I've been on the receiving end of it to often in the past to ever do it to another. It has been a week since I went on that date with Willow. I know I only just put the post up but like I said, I don't mess around.

In the past week all I have recieved from him is a few texts, one saying that he does want to meet up again, all the rest saying versions of 'I'm busy' when I've texted him or tried to call. I'm okay with people being busy, sometimes even I forget to reply to texts. But if I'm interested in someone I can always find a few spare seconds to send a text.

So I just deleted him from the chat site and sent one last text. That's all I'm going to do. If he really is interested then he knows how to find me and is welcome to do so. If he's not interested then I just wish he'd told me from the start. If, for whatever reason he was embarrassed or shy about talking to me again, then I really wish he wasn't. He was sweet. I would have liked the opportunity to know him better.

The Fifth

Approximately a week ago now, I had a date. Willow was to be the fifth person I had met from the online dating site I seem to live on. As far as this date was concerned, I was to be the veteran with myself being the first person Willow had met from online. I was nervous as all freaking hell.

Willow and I had only had a couple of online chats before I managed to coerce a date from him. He seemed both genuinely shy and a bit inexperienced with dating (not that I can talk). Our date was to be watching DVD's at my place. Nice and simple.

He was quite worried that he would do something wrong on this date, which I assured him was quite impossible. As far as I'm concerned first dates are supposed to be  filled with awkward moments and periods of silence as neither participant quite knows the other person well enough to prevent this. As such, anything 'wrong' is really quite normal.

On the day of the date Willow and I kept in contact, both of us nervous and wondering what the hell would happen later. At approximately 8pm (on time) Willow arrived at my place and we settled down on the couch to watch 'Horrible Bosses'.

Throughout the movie both of us (I assume) was very aware of the other. We talked a bit and Willow cautiously began to hold my hand, eventually putting his are behind my shoulders. Several times he asked me if I was nervous. I didn't feel nervous but he said I was shaking quite a lot.This would have been from a combination of anxiety medication and nerves. Due to the medication I don't really notice I'm nervous, but my regular shakes do increase.

There were several times during the movie when I thought Willow might kiss me, but he didn't. When the movie finished I put on another DVD, the second 'Johnny English' movie. We didn't see the end or even the middle of it.

We were sitting a bit closer on my horrible couch by then and he once again asked if I was nervous and he made that little move that made him seem like he was going to kiss me. This time I made sure he did. After that, I couldn't stop grinning.

It was so nice to be kissing again, I love the kind of physical contact that only comes from a sexy guy. After making out on the couch for a bit we ended up in my bedroom. It was awkward, enjoyable and so much fun all at once.

I'm not going to lie, we did have a bit of a problem when it came to the condom, but there are many ways around that type of thing. Once again, I couldn't stop grinning. It was quite a shame when he had to leave.

However, by the end of the next day and right up until now, I had stopped grinning. he wasn't replying to my text messages. He had said he didn't do hook ups and he had also said that he wanted to see me again, so why the silence? I tried calling him a couple of times but he didn't answer, responding with texts saying he was busy right at that moment. He hasn't deleted my contact from the dating site, he just wasn't talking any more.

Overall, Willow is/was a very sweet guy. No one has ever been that sweet and gentle to me. I really enjoyed it and it made me feel kind of special. I do want to see him again, I'd like to know him better. But even if things don't work out in the way of a relationship I'd be more then happy to have him as a fuck buddy.

So to end this post (which I know a certain people have been waiting for), I'm going to say that I had a great time as I have with nearly all the dates I've been on. Though unfortunately as with nearly all the dates I've been on I've been left feeling rejected and to add something new, I've been left feeling confused. So the question remains, does Willow want to see me again?

Never the End, Always a New Beginning

Over a week had gone by before I contacted Mr Good-Company after our play session. Call it what you will, but something just didn't 'feel right'. So I asked him if he wanted to meet up again sometime. His answer was as I had expected, 'I think I've met someone'.

Though for me this was a bit disappointing, I will admit that I wasn't overly surprised. I had probably been expecting it really. What with him starting uni this year I had sort of figured that he was bound to meet someone. This was just a little bit sooner than I had expected.

But I surprised myself. I cried for a little bit I will admit, but I was happy for him. Everyone wants someone special in their life and I was happy that he thought he may have found someone. 

I was also jealous though. I wanted someone special for me too. While Mr Good-Company obviously wasn't that someone special for me, he was someone I could play with in the meantime.

I think, for me, that has been the hardest part. Redefining our friendship. So much of it was based on sex and what we had done and wanted to do. Wether it be playing in person or online, that was all a no-go now. What on earth would we talk about? Could we still be friends?

One of the things I do regret is the timing. Just after this happened I drowned my phone, losing all the pictures Mr Good-Company had sent me and I them. Those pictures were important to me. Reminders of fun times and such. I asked Mr Good-Company if he still had them and could resend them. He said that he no longer had them. I'm not sure if I believe him or not, but I do understand that he might just not want to send another girl pictures of his genitals whilst he has a new love interest. I mourn those pictures though.

What this all made me not regret however, was convincing Mr Good-Company to stay for one last round when he visited me. I remember it as fun sex. Just light hearted fun and a perfect way to bring that version of our friend ship to an end. Had he not stayed I believe I would have been left frustrated and wanting more. I don't think this would have helped my ability to accept his non-single status at all.

Now it is finished. I had a fantastic time with Mr Good-Company over the past twelve months and know I will never forget any of it. I learnt so much about sex, good times and most importantly myself. I regret none of it and hope only for the success of this much newer reincarnation of our friendship.

Good luck with your romance Mr Good-Company. May we both find the happiness we seek in this new year.

Double the Bed, Double the Action

This post is a bit late I will admit, but these things happen. About two weeks ago now, I had a play date with Mr Good-Company. This time he came to my place and I bought a new bed for the occasion, my single bed not really being adequate for the anticipated activities.

I was of course nervous in the lead up to his arrival but later that afternoon a phone call from my boss put those thoughts out of my mind altogether. Our shop was closing, we were all losing our jobs. But I believe I've already told that story.

When Mr Good-Company arrived we stood around in my lounge room for a bit before he asked to see my new bed. We sat there in my room for a bit before he said 'Come here'. And I did.

I admit I can't clearly recall the order of events any more, what with them not being fresh in my mind, but I do remember thoroughly enjoying myself. I remember some very good oral. I remember straddling Mr Good-Company and rubbing my clit against his cock, coming over and over again before he suggested I fuck him. I rode him and came, and rode him and came. Finally bringing Mr Good-Company to orgasm.

There is just something about coming with another person, them making me come and I them, that I love so much. It is this more than my own orgasm where I draw my satisfaction from. To me, mutual pleasure is so much more fulfilling then any masturbatory session.

After putting our clothes back on Mr Good-Company and I nerded it up a bit before dinner, talking about the old favourite, Doctor Who. After dinner and some more nerd time, we headed back to the bedroom and started to make out. It would now be my turn to tie Mr Good-Company up.

After fiddling around with the rope for a little bit, working out how best to tie it without having to cut it (it was a nice bit of rope), I finally had Mr Good-Company tied to the four corners of the bed. He already looked like he was enjoying himself.

I kissed him, once again straddled him and began to rub myself against his cock. I love doing this, I come so easily from it. After I had my orgasm I put my oral skills to use. Sucking him, licking him, feeling him thrust his hips towards my mouth.

Following this I backed of, kissing him some more whilst stroking his cock, feeling the wetness of my saliva and his precum on his cock. I then went back rubbing myself against him. I repeated these moves several times until, when I was once again rubbing myself against his cock, he begged me to fuck him. 

What I enjoyed most about this was seeing in his face how much he did want to fuck me. Because I couldn't help myself  I asked 'You sure?'

"Yes. Fuck me!'

I untied him, letting him put a condom on before I began to ride him. Once again coming on his cock. Immediately after this Mr Good-Company pushed me off him and onto my back. He quickly positioned himself between my legs and began to fuck me so damn hard and fast that i again found myself coming, only a few seconds before he did.

I held him there afterwards, just feeling his cock jerking inside of me. I'd always wanted to do that but foor some reason never had. I quite enjoyed the feeling of his cock moving inside me that way. It caused me to grind myself against his pelvis wanting more. But that round, enough was enough.

We went to sleep then, after some silly discussion about the buzzing of mosquitoes. I woke up a couple of hours later and my hands went wandering. They found the bulge in Mr Good-Company shorts and began to stroke it through the thin fabric, feeling it harden. My hands then began to search for the waistband of those shorts, finding their way to the fun held beneath the fabric of those shorts.

Mr Good-Company woke then and his hand began to wander, finding their way to my pants, to the hem of my shirt, to the nipples underneath that shirt. 

This was to be a quick session. We rubbed and stroked each other, kissing in the dark before Mr Good-Company climbed on top of me, rubbing my clit with his cock before straddling my chest. He reached to my bedside cabinet for a little bullet vibe I have affectionately nicknamed 'Supervibe'. He turned it on and found his way to my clit. Not quite hitting the right spot, I took it from him an began to put it to some very good use.

Mr Good-Company was still straddling my chest, teasing and pinching my nipples. As he stroked his cock I began to moan as only Supervibe can cause me to do. Orgasming again and again as Mr Good-Company continued to rub himself. I listened to him, amongst the sounds of my moans and Supervibe I could hear he was close.

We had discussed facials before and this was to be it. As my orgasms continued he began to come, squirting over my mouth and cheeks. 

I had always wondered what I would do at this moment, but I didn't even have to think about it. I licked the tip of his cock as he came, licked the cum from my lip and continued to flick the tip of his cock with my tongue. He tasted so good.

We went back to sleep after that. I tried to repeat my wandering hands manoeuvre when I again woke later on. I felt him grow hard and reached into his shorts only to be stopped by a mumbled 'To sore.' Accepting this, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Mr Good-Company was ready to leave first thing the next morning. Watching him dress I asked if he was still sore. He was. I didn't like this answer, but there really wasn't much I could do about it. 

As I sat on the edge of the bed I pulled him in for a goodbye kiss, wrapping my legs around him as he leant over me. I didn't want him to go just yet. Unfortunately ,Mr Good-Company knows my weakness. He tickled me! Turning me into a squirming pile of giggles, I let him go.

We walked into the lounge room and I requested another kiss. This time I had a better hold of him. I wouldn't let him go and just kept kissing him each time he made a move to break away.

'What are you going to do, chase me around the room?'

'Nope. I'm going to push you backwards onto that chair and then I'm going to straddle you.'

I don't know how, but somehow that is exactly what happened. I straddled him. Unable to help myself I was rubbing against his groin. I kept trying to take his shirt off but he just wouldn't let me. Each time I tried to pull it over his head he would lean back against the chair and say 'Nope'. My response was of course 'Yes' as I tried as hard as I could to pull him forward and drag the shirt of at the same time. After what felt like several minutes I had his shirt off. 

I was finding this all very entertaining, but at the same time hoping like all hell he wouldn't just stand and leave. I was more than ready by this stage. I wanted him.

'You're just horny' 

I was still rubbing myself against him. His hands were on breasts.

'So are you, I can feel you'. 

I continued to kiss him, trying to figure out if I could keep rubbing against him and undo his belt buckle at the same time.

'You just like rubbing against me'.

'Who can blame me?'

I finally got that damn belt buckle undone and began to work on the zipper. It was so hard to do in the position I was in! I finally undid his jeans and giggled.

'I've never undone a guys pants before'.

With that Mr Good-Company laughed. Pushing me off him and we went back into the bedroom. Quickly taking of our clothes I straddled him and began rubbing against him in earnest. Such was my level of arousal I found myself coming quicker and better than normal.

'Why don't you do that for real?'

So I reached for the condoms, which of course had fallen out of reach during the night. As Mr Good-Company put one on I knelt there, rocking on my heels. I wanted sex. I really wanted sex. As soon as he had that condom on I was back on him. I believe I came several times before picking up the pace for Mr Good-Company. I don't believe I have ever rode him as hard as I did that morning.

When he finally came I just lay on top of his chest, exhausted.

Putting our clothes back on it really was time for Mr Good-Company to leave. We kissed once more in the bedroom before making our way to the front door. As he went to open it I pulled him in for one more kiss. This time it really was a goodbye kiss and I made the most of it, not knowing when or if I would see him again.

As it turns out I saw him half an hour later. After he left I found his sunglasses so I sent him a text and he came back for them. This time it was just a quick goodbye as friends. A brief exchange and a 'See ya later'. Though I was of course wondering if I would ever actually see him again.

I must admit, even now I'm rather pleased in my efforts of convincing Mr Good-Company to stay for that last round. It was the kind of silly fun I really enjoy with him. All in all, it was a memorable night for all the right reasons.

Untitled

I recently wrote about a coming play date with Mr Good-Company and I know there are a few of you waiting for details. I promise, they are coming. Unfortunately Just two hours before Mr Good-Company arrived at my place I had a phone call from my boss. She had just found out from Head Office that our shop is to be shut down. All of us, including her, will be out of work in less than two weeks. To put it simply, I'm devastated.

Due to this I haven't really been in the mood for documenting the fun going ons of my recent play date. Not only am I still quite upset about the loss of my job, but I am also busy looking for a new one. I have been spending my most of spare time on this. Writing resumes, printing them and walking the streets looking for businesses I can hand them into.

All of us at the shop were a fantastic team. We really worked together so well it was amazing. I'm going to miss everybody a lot, though some I know I'll keep in contact with. I don't honestly think I will ever have a job I enjoyed as much as I did this one. 

Please be patient while I see this hurdle through. I'll do my best to have my play date blogged within the week. In the meantime, I can't help but secretly hope that Head Office will change their mind regarding our closure (not going to happen). I would give up so much in my life, if only I could have my job back. I love it so much. I will miss it even more.

Unlocking the Back Door

Clover clamps: Pull string to tighten.

In several days time I will be having a play date with Mr Good-Company. To say that I'm excited would be quite the understatement. Whilst I'm not bouncing of the walls as I was with Sexpo, I'm pretty close.

This time we will just be at my place. I had to buy a new bed for the occasion and my single bed just wasn't going to cut it. I'm still figuring out me new bed. Which side do I feel better sleeping on? What do I do with all the extra space? Though the extra space does have some benefit, I no longer accidentally kick the cat out of bed in the night.

I've taken some time to try and prepare a few things for this session. Last time we attempted anal it didn't go so well. Mr Good-Company had a lot of difficulty penetrating me and when he did it hurt a lot in a bad way. This time I wanted to be more prepared. As I've mentioned, I don't like being beaten but at the same time I can also respect my bodies limits. If I can't do anal then I can live with that but I wanted to have one last try.

I ordered a set of butt plugs to help me with this final attempt. They progress in size from small to large, the idea being to work your way up to the larger size.

I had no problems inserting the first plug though it felt so unbearably odd that I was only able to wear it for about five minutes, if that. I had to more tries with that plug, lasting first 10 minutes and then 20 minutes. 

I'd had no trouble at all with this plug so I decided to move forward to the second. To my surprise, I had no trouble inserting thins one either. When I had it inside of me I could feel that it was larger than the first but still no more difficult to wear. The first time I wore it I was able to last 40minutes, though I did need distractions to help me stop stressing over it. The second time I wore it I had less luck, lasting only 5 minutes. I assume this was because my sister was at home and as such I wasn't comfortable to enough to relax properly. Hopefully I'll have better luck next time.

I have both read and had people tell me that wearing a plug simply makes you feel 'full'. I don't believe that what it feels like is quite like that, not to me anyway. To insert the plug I curled myself up with my legs toward my chest, that is what felt most comfortable. In this position I can hardly feel the plug at all, a good thing as far as I'm concerned. But when I straighten myself out and stand, the feeling of the plug changes entirely. It feels as if I need to go to the toilet, but contradictory to how this would normaly feel, my muscles aren'tclenched shut, trying to hold things in. I believe this is where the 'odd' feeling I experience comes from. My body knows what it should be feeling but my head telling it something slightly different to the norm

I haven't progressed to the third and largest size yet. I'm not sure that I intend to. Hopefully the middle size should have helped me enough to make anal pain free though I'm still not expecting to receive any pleasure from the act.

I also bought something a bit more out of the ordinary, something nothing like anything currently in my toy box. Since I enjoy having my nipples bitten and teased, I wondered what else I might enjoy in regards to nipple play. As such, I bought myself some clover clamps. 

They arrived along with a few other things yesterday whilst I was work. My sister rang me asking if she could open the package (her having no idea what it contained. I of course denied her the pleasure of playing snoop. Later that eveing I escaped her watchful eye and opened up the package. Inside was some rope, some toy cleaner a couple of 'free gifts' and the clamps. 

I eagerly took my shirt and bra off, keen to see what they felt like... HOLY MOTHER F@#KER! 

To say that the clamps to what they say they do is an understatement. I tried to leave them on for more than a couple of seconds and I could feel the urge to swear rapidly building and the tears welling in my eyes. Those things hurt! I think I can safely say that I have no interest in that level of pain. I would nearly swear that my nipples were going to fall off and I didn't even begin to tighten the clamps. I think my preferred type of nipple pain will continue to be that of someone's teeth and fingers, gently tightening around my flesh. Much more enjoyable than the clasp of steel.

Even though anal isn't my favourite thing to do, I am still immensely excited about this coming play session. Mr Good-Company and I plan on tying each other up, perhaps  putting to use some of the instructions in a Shibari book I recently bought. Most important of all we're going to test out out my new bed. I know it's good for sleeping in, but is is good for other things too?

Better than Cake

Pussy Cake. Almost as tasty as the real thing.

The other day I celebrated my first kiss with vodka and some incredibly delicious grapes. Inspired to top that effort I decided I would make a cake for the next celebration of my sex life. The day I first received oral.

This day was the one immediately after that of my first kiss, the 03/01/11. It begin with some serious flirting online between myself and Mr Good-Company before he asked me over to his place to watch a movie. While still online he asked what movie I wanted to see, my response was 'But we're not really going to watch a movie are we?'

Even in my inexperience I knew what I wanted, though not to what level. I would never have imagined as I walked over to Mr Good-Company's place that I would end up receiving oral that night. At that stage in my life I still actually thought the idea of a woman receiving oral, of having her pussy eaten and her clit sucked, as a bit of a myth. Did guys really do that? Why would they put their faces in the midst of someone's genitals? On that note I also believed that women didn't enjoy sucking cock. Well I proved myself wrong on that one...

We did watch a movie, though the distraction of Mr Good-Company sitting next to me meant I wasn't really paying that much attention. When the movie ended, he turned to me and began to kiss me. Running his hands along my body, under my shirt, removing his shirt, unzipping my jeans.

I thought for the smallest possible of amount of time of stopping him as I had the night before. But I didn't. He pulled my jeans off and began to rub me through my knickers. He slipped a finger underneath the fabric, finding my clit and making me gasp. He continued to kiss me, fingering me and making me moan.

Eventually he stopped, Mr Good-Company moved to the floor and asked 'can I?' and I nodded. I believe I was in a slight state of shock at the time. I'm not even sure I could have formed a coherent sentence.

Mr Good-Company removed my knickers, positioned himself between my legs and began to eat me. I can remember just sitting there, lying back against the couch and holding his head in my hands. I remember letting out the occasional gasp as I was shocked and delighted by the pleasant sensations his mouth was causing.

He paused at one stage and looked up at me. I looked at him 'To think last night I was only having my first kiss'.

'Who wouldn't want to kiss you?' He reached up and kissed me hard on the mouth, gripping my thighs as he did so before moving back to kiss my pussy.

I don't believe I will ever forget that night. It was one of the first times I ever felt desirable and I absolutely loved it. I think this feeling, that and having someone between my legs for the first time are worth celebrating. Feeling desirable is a wonderful sensation and so is that of having a tongue lapping up and down your pussy, a     mouth sucking on your clit and making you moan. It's even better than cake,

One Kiss, Two Kiss, Three kiss, More!

Somehow this guys face reminds me of GC...

Twelve months ago, at this time, on this day, I was sitting in a pub with a pineapple cruiser with the man who was to become Mr Good-Company. We didn't know each other very well then having only just met 45 minutes earlier at the bottom of my driveway. Later that night we would wander down to the carnival, he would win me a giant monkey coming out of a banana and we would spend several hours walking around in the dark just talking.

We eventually made our way back to my place, we stood awkwardly in my kitchen for a while, just talking before we ran out of things to say and Mr Good-Company said his goodbyes. Then he kissed me. My first kiss. On the second of January 2011 at approximately 11.45pm. I nearly gagged.

The gagging wasn't Mr Good-Company's fault of course. He didn't know he was my first kiss so showed no hesitation about shoving his tongue into my mouth. My mouth however, disagreed with this course of events. At least at first. It soon got over this invasion of space and Mr Good-Company and I moved over to my couch.

He continued to kiss me. Removing his shirt and somewhere along the line undoing my bra. He removed my shirt and began to kiss my breasts. No one had seen me topless since I was a child. I think I was in a slight state of shock.

At one point he asked me if I 'wanted his finger' as he rubbed his hand against the crutch of my jeans. I said no. I may have been rather out of it, but I knew I was in no way ready for that! Let me enjoy the kissing first!

Enjoy it I did. Mr Good-Company continued to kiss me and I him, rubbing my groin and sucking my nipples until early in the morning.

Near to 2am I believe, he had to leave. We put our clothes back on and stood up. Once standing he said 'Fuck it' and pushed me back onto the couch, furiously kissing me once more. Then it really was time for him to leave.

When he was gone I just stood there for a few seconds. What the hell had just happened? I had just had my first kiss, that's what! Then another and another and another! I hadn't even thought to tell him he was my first!

I never thought until then that he would  end up having my virginity as well, though a few days later I did go to the Doctor and get myself a prescription for the pill 'just in case'. Always better to be safe than sorry.

I had also never thought until then that I might be attractive enough for anyone to want to kiss me. Sure, I had wondered when we were walking around, when we were standing in my kitchen, how the night would end. I had hoped he might kiss me, or at least ask to see me again. In the end, t he way things happened exceeded even my hopes for a good night. He kissed me more than once, wanted to take my clothes off and said he wanted to see me again. I certainly went to bed with the most ridiculous grin on my face that night.

Here's to 2012! May you somehow exceed the delights of 2011!